Dear All,
Sunday was great for me, and I hope you liked the whiskey. If all of y’all scope out da 5-Oh! for me, I guarantee Sr. Daniels will be readily available.
Yes, we failed the stragglers again; yes we didn’t have our elaborate system in place. What is the System?
Jens just created it, and if you do not know him, know that He Rules.
This is our System for How Signups and Team Standings Will Work. It’s Officially LAW (remember, you don’t have to be on a team to play. Sheri will sign up stragglers and arrange new pickup teams every week. Do what u please):
The First team to submit to Sheri (whose station is at the fence along the 3rd base Line):
A) $30
2) a line-up, including 2 names circled for umpiring duties
Is "Team #1." The 2nd team is "Team #2" and so forth.
Then matchups proceed accordingly:
Team 1 v. Team 2 on the Main Field, 1st game
Team 3 v. Team 4 on the Main Field, 2nd game
Team 5 v. Team 6 at the Red Monster, 1st game
Team 7 v. Team 8 at the Red Monster, 2nd game
The WINNER of each game plays their 2nd game on the MAIN field. The LOSER of each game plays their 2nd game at the RED MONSTER.
If there are more than 8 teams in a given week, then just wing it for teams 9 on.
Don’t worry, the Red Monster will be set up right, and we’ll arrange the bases so they are well away from the Main Field, and so that good Kickers can hit the Monster. It’s a great brand of ball.
After each team has played two games, this is usually when people / teams wander or are too drunk to comprehend anything, so we should just allow things at this point to devolve into the weekly free-for-all we all truly love. As long as each paying team gets two good games in, i think we can all say "job well done."
4 points awarded for win
2 points awarded for tie
1 point awarded for loss (that’s right, if you play, you are rewarded)
Thereby, a team with 8 wins and 12 losses having 44 points, and the team with 3 wins and 2 loses having
14 points. Only the first two games a team plays each week count in the standings.
Now this comes from me, and only me, Kevin Dailey, former Commish of BK and current Co-Conspirator with BA, Franz, and Jens:
UMPIRING: It’s difficult to dictate exactly where umps should be and when. Given that every Sunday is different, and we could have an odd number of teams on one night, while inclement weather could limit turnout, we can’t strictly assign umpiring duties. But know this: if your name is circled for umpiring, and you’re not playing a game, you had better find somewhere to Ump, or just Eject Yourself from McCarren that night. We should have 2 Umps a game as a minimum, and 4 would be sweet. It’s not tough to see if a game is lacking some. Furthermore, you should ump as much as you kick. We will tolerate umpiring errors (shit, people could dis me all day on that), but we will not abide indifference to fair play. I hate to sound like David Stern. Trust me, I despise that suspension-happy jerkoff, and I hope he dies of cum cancer what he did to the Knicks in ‘97
But, I can’t and won’t have teams complaining to me about lack of umps, and claiming that the games are somehow illegitimate. For all the Hoopla around our Beloved Games (I swear, I think Franz will accidentally kill someone with his sword someday, and then we’re all goin’ down, and not in the fun way), we do want the games themselves to be real, and real smooth.
To that end, get to know the fucking rules. They are easy.
I am going to make Umpiring Fun (no, this is not some Tom Sawyer bullshit). Every inning, the umpires will rotate their positions. As we are a social league, it’s good for umps to chat it up with the different teams. Perhaps the third base side is drinking whiskey, while over at first, someone is rolling a J. The Barbeque will stand behind home, so, if we have 4 umps, then that ump gets to be near the grillin’.
I will talk to my fellow Directors about whether or not Umps can eject someone from a game. I think they should if someone is violating either of these two rules:
“Trash Talk is Allowed if Clever or Witty, but NEVER Trite or Violent.” That’s Trite OR Violent, being either one should jeopardize an abuser of this Rule. It’s high time we enforced it. No need to rub your eyes, you should hit the showers if you’re trite. Go read a book. And if you’re violent with words, well, go hit the ‘Nest, but just don’t expect $1 Beers or any kind of Love.
And it should be a given, but
PLAY NICE, OR ELSE, MUTHERFUCKERS!
PLAY GOOD BALL IN ’05.
Don’t worry; there’ll probably be about 10 Billion more emails before this week is through. Stay tuned for Saturday and Sunday Night Party Info.
Much Love, and here’s a great spring dance song from the SOS Band,
Kevin Dailey
Sunday was great for me, and I hope you liked the whiskey. If all of y’all scope out da 5-Oh! for me, I guarantee Sr. Daniels will be readily available.
Yes, we failed the stragglers again; yes we didn’t have our elaborate system in place. What is the System?
Jens just created it, and if you do not know him, know that He Rules.
This is our System for How Signups and Team Standings Will Work. It’s Officially LAW (remember, you don’t have to be on a team to play. Sheri will sign up stragglers and arrange new pickup teams every week. Do what u please):
The First team to submit to Sheri (whose station is at the fence along the 3rd base Line):
A) $30
2) a line-up, including 2 names circled for umpiring duties
Is "Team #1." The 2nd team is "Team #2" and so forth.
Then matchups proceed accordingly:
Team 1 v. Team 2 on the Main Field, 1st game
Team 3 v. Team 4 on the Main Field, 2nd game
Team 5 v. Team 6 at the Red Monster, 1st game
Team 7 v. Team 8 at the Red Monster, 2nd game
The WINNER of each game plays their 2nd game on the MAIN field. The LOSER of each game plays their 2nd game at the RED MONSTER.
If there are more than 8 teams in a given week, then just wing it for teams 9 on.
Don’t worry, the Red Monster will be set up right, and we’ll arrange the bases so they are well away from the Main Field, and so that good Kickers can hit the Monster. It’s a great brand of ball.
After each team has played two games, this is usually when people / teams wander or are too drunk to comprehend anything, so we should just allow things at this point to devolve into the weekly free-for-all we all truly love. As long as each paying team gets two good games in, i think we can all say "job well done."
4 points awarded for win
2 points awarded for tie
1 point awarded for loss (that’s right, if you play, you are rewarded)
Thereby, a team with 8 wins and 12 losses having 44 points, and the team with 3 wins and 2 loses having
14 points. Only the first two games a team plays each week count in the standings.
Now this comes from me, and only me, Kevin Dailey, former Commish of BK and current Co-Conspirator with BA, Franz, and Jens:
UMPIRING: It’s difficult to dictate exactly where umps should be and when. Given that every Sunday is different, and we could have an odd number of teams on one night, while inclement weather could limit turnout, we can’t strictly assign umpiring duties. But know this: if your name is circled for umpiring, and you’re not playing a game, you had better find somewhere to Ump, or just Eject Yourself from McCarren that night. We should have 2 Umps a game as a minimum, and 4 would be sweet. It’s not tough to see if a game is lacking some. Furthermore, you should ump as much as you kick. We will tolerate umpiring errors (shit, people could dis me all day on that), but we will not abide indifference to fair play. I hate to sound like David Stern. Trust me, I despise that suspension-happy jerkoff, and I hope he dies of cum cancer what he did to the Knicks in ‘97
But, I can’t and won’t have teams complaining to me about lack of umps, and claiming that the games are somehow illegitimate. For all the Hoopla around our Beloved Games (I swear, I think Franz will accidentally kill someone with his sword someday, and then we’re all goin’ down, and not in the fun way), we do want the games themselves to be real, and real smooth.
To that end, get to know the fucking rules. They are easy.
I am going to make Umpiring Fun (no, this is not some Tom Sawyer bullshit). Every inning, the umpires will rotate their positions. As we are a social league, it’s good for umps to chat it up with the different teams. Perhaps the third base side is drinking whiskey, while over at first, someone is rolling a J. The Barbeque will stand behind home, so, if we have 4 umps, then that ump gets to be near the grillin’.
I will talk to my fellow Directors about whether or not Umps can eject someone from a game. I think they should if someone is violating either of these two rules:
“Trash Talk is Allowed if Clever or Witty, but NEVER Trite or Violent.” That’s Trite OR Violent, being either one should jeopardize an abuser of this Rule. It’s high time we enforced it. No need to rub your eyes, you should hit the showers if you’re trite. Go read a book. And if you’re violent with words, well, go hit the ‘Nest, but just don’t expect $1 Beers or any kind of Love.
And it should be a given, but
PLAY NICE, OR ELSE, MUTHERFUCKERS!
PLAY GOOD BALL IN ’05.
Don’t worry; there’ll probably be about 10 Billion more emails before this week is through. Stay tuned for Saturday and Sunday Night Party Info.
Much Love, and here’s a great spring dance song from the SOS Band,
Kevin Dailey