Well, the first half of the season wrapped up pretty much like i expected. My team is a slight disappointment, and not living to its potential, but I have been doing a decent job as a reluctant commish. I am hopeful somebody will take my position over soon, just like i hoped and thought last year. If you ever think I am waving my dick around the field, know this: i didn't want the title of commish. I just wanted to play and be merry, and enjoy what i helped create. Sure, being Commish has its perks, but for the most part, without a television contract, I do not want the job. It's duty more than glory.
Let's review the first half: I believe most people are happy, and enjoying themselves. We had a television crew come in, so somebody chronicled our May 1st Opening Day, and it should air in the fall (Jens, of all people, now works for the show). We had a few teams claim first along the way, and the standings are as tight as the 1978's AL East. We've seen new teams in the Burninators, Kings, Tigers, F$undays, and to some degree, the Struts (perhaps they were only a dream, but they had people Kick farther than our MVP, Jesse "Sportz" Alexander). With much anticipation, we saw the very welcome return of the Orphans, featuring some really cool cats from the Mark Bar. The barbecue has been active, and the drinking has been decadent. So, to the first half of 2005, I say the state of kickball is berry good.
Official play resumes July 17th. This Sunday, July 3rd, is STRAGGLER DAY, so please, leave your uniforms at home, and go play with other people on other teams. July 10th is the All-Star Game, featuring great rock bands situated in foul territory by shallow left field. I have decided that all fans hanging out there are the 11th fielder! A fan can catch a ball for an out, and relay a throw back to the fielding team. That should make things a little more interesting. We'll have the National Anthem, followed by Black Cat Revolver's final show, the Vitamen's groovy wit, and The Giraffes porn-rock. Can't Fucking Wait.
Anyway, I am always available for respectful conversations regarding Kickball. If you gots beef, lemme know. But I am pleased with everything, regardless of how the website may be lacking pictures or videos.
see ya every sunday.
Let's review the first half: I believe most people are happy, and enjoying themselves. We had a television crew come in, so somebody chronicled our May 1st Opening Day, and it should air in the fall (Jens, of all people, now works for the show). We had a few teams claim first along the way, and the standings are as tight as the 1978's AL East. We've seen new teams in the Burninators, Kings, Tigers, F$undays, and to some degree, the Struts (perhaps they were only a dream, but they had people Kick farther than our MVP, Jesse "Sportz" Alexander). With much anticipation, we saw the very welcome return of the Orphans, featuring some really cool cats from the Mark Bar. The barbecue has been active, and the drinking has been decadent. So, to the first half of 2005, I say the state of kickball is berry good.
Official play resumes July 17th. This Sunday, July 3rd, is STRAGGLER DAY, so please, leave your uniforms at home, and go play with other people on other teams. July 10th is the All-Star Game, featuring great rock bands situated in foul territory by shallow left field. I have decided that all fans hanging out there are the 11th fielder! A fan can catch a ball for an out, and relay a throw back to the fielding team. That should make things a little more interesting. We'll have the National Anthem, followed by Black Cat Revolver's final show, the Vitamen's groovy wit, and The Giraffes porn-rock. Can't Fucking Wait.
Anyway, I am always available for respectful conversations regarding Kickball. If you gots beef, lemme know. But I am pleased with everything, regardless of how the website may be lacking pictures or videos.
see ya every sunday.
The standings are hot. Just as I predicted, the O'Sleeves are barely holding first, and at this rate, the Burninators will claim first by Sunday's end, unless my team gets its act together and stops being its worst enemy. We still make many of our 2004 mistakes, but we love each other, and we are a feisty bunch, so I will bet anyone right now that we repeat as Champs. We've been lax, but at some point, we're gonna get straight to the business of fucking everyone up. Any takers?
Fifteen points separate first from 5th. In two weeks' time, Shockamania could be first and the 'Sleeves could be in 5th, or, more likely there will be alot of switching around at the top of the heap. Los Piratas are out of the top three for the first time this season, but I see some of their better 2004 players have returned, to help ease the Burninator breakoff. Shockamania held their own against the Burninators (i know, ties can be so....unfulfilling), and their fielding is among the best in the league. I don't really know who their quality kickers are, but they seem to have fundamentals. The Daggers, well, they have the Power of Moss to guide them through Kickball Hades, that and Dan Funderburg and Kevin Landweir kicking them to glory.
We'll see. Every team should have a healthy fear for each other, but I don't. You're all dead, you just don't know it yet, kinda like Wile E. Coyote before he looks down. Good Luck though.
For those of you at the middle or bottom, make sure you go practice on Tuesdays. Last night, some 40-50 people showed up at McCarren to improve their lackluster skills. Good for them, and I hope Brooklyn's mean quality of play rises beyond Jerry's Kids. So, Practices on Tuesday are here to stay. We could be playing anywhere on McCarren, so take a stroll around to find your mates. Tuesdays are a very nice denouement to Sunday, and indeed, "The Livin' is Easy."
Lastly, regarding last week's fight between Franz and the woman from the Kings, I hate to do this, but Franz is suspended for one week for his verbal abuse, and the Mighty King can take a month long vacation. It's really tough being the Commish sometimes, and this is one of them. I saved this for last because I would rather write about Sunday's pleasant happenings, rather than yet another incident involving the Pirates and a team not knowing how to take a not-really-funny joke. If anyone thinks I'm being too harsh, the video will be up on the site shortly.
Sorry Kings, Sorry, LPM.
Chill.
Fifteen points separate first from 5th. In two weeks' time, Shockamania could be first and the 'Sleeves could be in 5th, or, more likely there will be alot of switching around at the top of the heap. Los Piratas are out of the top three for the first time this season, but I see some of their better 2004 players have returned, to help ease the Burninator breakoff. Shockamania held their own against the Burninators (i know, ties can be so....unfulfilling), and their fielding is among the best in the league. I don't really know who their quality kickers are, but they seem to have fundamentals. The Daggers, well, they have the Power of Moss to guide them through Kickball Hades, that and Dan Funderburg and Kevin Landweir kicking them to glory.
We'll see. Every team should have a healthy fear for each other, but I don't. You're all dead, you just don't know it yet, kinda like Wile E. Coyote before he looks down. Good Luck though.
For those of you at the middle or bottom, make sure you go practice on Tuesdays. Last night, some 40-50 people showed up at McCarren to improve their lackluster skills. Good for them, and I hope Brooklyn's mean quality of play rises beyond Jerry's Kids. So, Practices on Tuesday are here to stay. We could be playing anywhere on McCarren, so take a stroll around to find your mates. Tuesdays are a very nice denouement to Sunday, and indeed, "The Livin' is Easy."
Lastly, regarding last week's fight between Franz and the woman from the Kings, I hate to do this, but Franz is suspended for one week for his verbal abuse, and the Mighty King can take a month long vacation. It's really tough being the Commish sometimes, and this is one of them. I saved this for last because I would rather write about Sunday's pleasant happenings, rather than yet another incident involving the Pirates and a team not knowing how to take a not-really-funny joke. If anyone thinks I'm being too harsh, the video will be up on the site shortly.
Sorry Kings, Sorry, LPM.
Chill.
Since last season, I've written on several occasions about how violence is not just someone body-slamming another, and rhetoric can be very violent. "Dems fightin' words!" didn't come from nowhere. From the very beginning, our rules clearly state not to be "trite or violent" with the trash-talking.
Franz, a witty guy, always had a Howard Stern like ability during games to dance up to the line, but not cross it. I wish I could say the same a few others in the league. As a recovering misogynist, I really do not like terms like "bitch" or "cunt", because, though, in certain contexts, they are not necessarily violent or trite, but in most cases those words are.
Therefore, I am instructing my umpiring chiefs to properly enforce the trash-talking rule. Any violator will be ejected from that game, and if he/she refuses, then that person will be sent home for the night. The same goes for homophobic and racist remarks, and anything else deemed trite or violent by our umps. The umps *do* have the right to eject people, although I will request they use that power sparingly and wisely. As I've also said a few times before, I do not want to be David Stern.
So, please choose to embrace first, walk-away second, and dis a far third.
Chill, with this classic, self-described "ditty" from Pete Townshend.
Franz, a witty guy, always had a Howard Stern like ability during games to dance up to the line, but not cross it. I wish I could say the same a few others in the league. As a recovering misogynist, I really do not like terms like "bitch" or "cunt", because, though, in certain contexts, they are not necessarily violent or trite, but in most cases those words are.
Therefore, I am instructing my umpiring chiefs to properly enforce the trash-talking rule. Any violator will be ejected from that game, and if he/she refuses, then that person will be sent home for the night. The same goes for homophobic and racist remarks, and anything else deemed trite or violent by our umps. The umps *do* have the right to eject people, although I will request they use that power sparingly and wisely. As I've also said a few times before, I do not want to be David Stern.
So, please choose to embrace first, walk-away second, and dis a far third.
Chill, with this classic, self-described "ditty" from Pete Townshend.
Last weekend was probably the best weekend for me personally. I loved seeing many of the old Orphans, Shockamania and I made peace over the previous week's drama (mea culpa), the umpiring improved considerably (but still not exactly right), and my team is proving 2004 was no fluke.
One annoyance is that our shit keeps getting lost at the Nest, but that really is no one's fault, as the management has been magnanimous not just to Kickball, but to other softball leagues as well. However, there is too much stuff packed in their little kitchen and last week's casualty was an essential little fixture for the grill, without which we cannot barbecue. EVERONE KNOW that the BBQ is essential to kickball, I ordered the stupid little metal piece, and from now on, the barbecue will be behind home plate every Sunday.
The standings are tight, and I predict many upper-tier place changes before the playoffs begin. Now that I think about it, we will announce 2005's playoff system in good time. I imagine there should be byes for the high seeds, but everyone makes the playoffs.
Pele, if you're reading this, would you please join the Kings?
One annoyance is that our shit keeps getting lost at the Nest, but that really is no one's fault, as the management has been magnanimous not just to Kickball, but to other softball leagues as well. However, there is too much stuff packed in their little kitchen and last week's casualty was an essential little fixture for the grill, without which we cannot barbecue. EVERONE KNOW that the BBQ is essential to kickball, I ordered the stupid little metal piece, and from now on, the barbecue will be behind home plate every Sunday.
The standings are tight, and I predict many upper-tier place changes before the playoffs begin. Now that I think about it, we will announce 2005's playoff system in good time. I imagine there should be byes for the high seeds, but everyone makes the playoffs.
Pele, if you're reading this, would you please join the Kings?
Here's something to help you, lifted from the Kickbacks' website:
