Kickball Standings, For Your Amusement

That's right: we play in the rain. Only 3 teams canceled, and we hosted a baby shower to boot. Yes, McCarren's favorite hipster, Lance, and his baby's mama, Theresa, brought their beautiful newborn to the field. We had canopies under Lawn Candy's big tree, and there was enough protection from the rain for their families and friends to enjoy.

As for the games, they were slippy and sloppy. Errors abounded, particularly by this writer. But we never cancel, ever. The weather report does not concern me: game is always on.

So let's see: The New Frontiersmen mercied Crucial Taunt, giving them a perfect 100% rating. Prison rocked the mostly Burninator-less Commitments, handing them their first mercy loss ever. I hope Prison felt some kind of inner peace, as if all the pain and misery just washed away. To close out this mercy-ruling report, the Bacon Bits quelled La Resistance, while Never Scared stunned and shunned the Government Kickbacks.

Over the last two weeks, a couple bad plays have me concerned. No names will be used to protect the guilty. In the first bad case, I saw a woman get pegged en route to second, but the ump didn't call her out. I asked her if she was hit, she acknowledged, and headed back to her dugout. Her team protested, saying the ump's call was the ultimate decision. Bullshit. If someone has the honesty and good sportsmanship to call herself out, then the player has the ultimate call. Perhaps your team may not be happy with you, but you'll have more class and pride than all of them.

Second situation (and I see this all the time): play at home, with another infielder (usually a guy covering the plate, but is blocking the basepath, and is about 8 feet away from home. No fielder is allowed to be obstruct the runner (with some exceptions such as pop-flys and run downs), and if you're basically playing the catcher's position, you must be no more than 2 feet off the plate. Yes, the runner should slide, as in this league, it doesn't matter if the catcher drops the ball if the ball hits the runner. Please, use common sense and let's not bowl each other over on tight plays at home.

. Team Mercy Wins Wins Losses Mercy Losses Ties Winning % Games . . New Frontiersmen 3 10 1 1 1.000 15 . Prison 3 5 2 1 0.909 11 . Ye Olde Fashioneds 2 8 2 2 0.857 14 . John Cougar Mellancamps 2 7 3 0.833 12 . Sugar Tits 1 8 2 2 0.808 13 . Wrecking Crew 3 3 4 1 0.727 11 . Bacon Bits 1 8 4 1 0.714 14 . Crucial Taunt 3 6 4 1 2 0.697 16.5 . Dream Team 2 6 3 1 2 0.690 14.5 . Never Scared 2 6 7 0.600 15 . Monster Squad 3 2 2 0.571 7 . Wyld Stallyns 1 7 7 0.567 15 . Commitments 6 3 1 1 0.565 11.5 . Kanguerillas 7 4 1 1 0.556 13.5 . La Resistance 3 3 3 3 1 0.552 14.5 . NYC Fun Club 5 5 0.500 10 . Continentals 2 4 7 1 1 0.484 15.5 . Government Kickbacks 1 4 4 2 2 0.464 14 . Gingerballs 5 6 0.455 11 . Divine Sisterhood Etc. 4 2 2 1 0.450 10 . People's Court 1 5 6 2 0.433 15 . Lightning Turtles 1 3 6 1 0.391 11.5 . Kickball Fever 1 2 5 1 1 0.381 10.5 . Team Peavy 2 4 1 0.357 7 . Booze on First 4 5 2 0.333 12 . Stallionaires 2 5 2 0.333 9 . Luz Restaurant 1 1 2 3 1 0.316 9.5 . Los Piratas Mechanicos 3 6 3 1 0.241 14.5 . Regression Aggression 2 6 1 0.211 9.5 . Storm of Lazers 2 8 0.200 10 . Bourgy Ballers 1 5 4 0.083 12 . Dolls Kicking Balls 6 3 0.000 10.5