Kickball Standings, For Your Amusement

Yesterday was a blast, and I am stunned we finished all the games before 10:15. We had only 2 forfeits, and those teams are being burned in effigy next week. Kidding, those are nice peoples, and I hope they can get their act together for next season, if they have one. What to do if a team forfeits, should the "winner" get a Mercy or Regular Win? I contended with this issue all week, and the main reason why I wanted every game played. One can say, well this Favorite would have mercied their underdog, or whatever, but in the end, I decided that we cannot assume the Mercy. Also, in baseball, if a team forfeits, the score is 9-0, or a run an inning. Here, we'd only award 5 total runs, and 5 ain't 10. Sorry Fun Club and Prison. I did everything I could to avoid this situation.

Yesterday yielded no real upsets or surprises, and there were 14 Mercy Rulings, none coming from the Commishments or the Ye Olde Fashioneds. Now, unfortunately for the latter, if they are to claim the coveted "Josh Gibson" Division Title, they must either Mercy the Sugartits or beat them twice. Big Side Note: I must take this moment to offer my condolences to Erin and Doug Gardner of the Tits, on the passing of their father. That is one of toughest and most bizarre experiences anyone must ever endure. My heart goes to them, and this is their 4th season now. The Tits have the 2nd longest tenure in the League, so when you see them this week, give them some props, love, and beverages.

Nobody clinched their division yet. This week, each Division's 1 and 2 seeds will battle, and we have some very interesting matchps on the 14th. There are 4 clinching games going on among them. The Fun Club will party with the Redeem Team, and all the Redeemers must do to clinch is Tie. Commish's new team, The Sisterhood, takes on Never Scared, and that will be epic. I have Never Scared's entire new uniform, and I will wear it as we beat them. Big ups to both teams: they contrast boldly, but are two of the best. While I like Never Scared's hoopla and chutzpah, I also fancy the Sisterhood's calm. One thing you should all know about these Divine Sisters: they can mutherfucking kick as well as anyone in the league. So Look The Fuck Out.

. Mercy Wins Wins Ties Points Mercy Wins Wins Ties Points . . Jens Carstensen Leon Day . . Prison 1 1 5 John Cougar Mellancamps 1 1 5 . Wrecking Crew 1 1 3 Government Kickbacks 1 2 . Team Peavy 1 1 Gingerballs 0 . Luz Restaurant 0 Los Piratas Mechanicos 1 2 . . Marty Glickman John Shippen . . New Frontiersmen 2 6 Bacon Bits 2 6 . Continentals 1 1 5 Kickball Fever 1 1 5 . Kanguerillas 0 La Resistance 0 . Bourgy Ballers 0 Regression Aggression 0 . . Mercy Wins Wins Ties Points Mercy Wins Wins Ties Points . . Josh Gibson John Starks .

. Sugar Tits 2 6 Never Scared 2 6 . Ye Olde Fashioneds 2 4 Divine Sisterhood OTSBH 1 1 5 . Booze on First 0 Monster Squad 0 . Dolls Kicking Balls 0 Storm o' Lazerz 0 . . Chiara Sullivan Sadaharu Oh . . Redeem Team 1 1 5 Commishments 2 4 . NYCFC 2 4 Crucial Taunt 1 2 . Wyld Stallyns 0 People's Court 1 2 . Stallionaires 0 Lightning Turtles 0