Summer's Still Here, Folks, So Dance and Be Merry
Da John Cougar Mellencamps
Will 2008 Bring Them Finals Glory?
Will 2008 Bring Them Finals Glory?
The JCMs rolled onto the scene in early spring, 2006: hot, enthusiastic, skilled and perhaps, occasionally, a tad arrogant. But they are the shit, and so much more than our version of yesteryear's Red Sox. That's not a bad thing anyway, yet I really feel for people coming so close, yet not quite eating the whole damn ham sandwich. After all, I fondly reflect upon the Knicks during the Ewing Era.
This team features some interesting and contrasting personalities. Zach and Paul, their captains, are quiet and reserved, while Priest and Shirtless and flamboyant. As for the women...wow, not only are they all so gorgeous and sexy, but their sincerity and sweetness make you wanna bring them home to Mom. While sometimes I've needed marriage counseling with them, Brooklyn Kickball is so much for the better with the John Cougar Mellencamps.
Straight up - they deserve to be called Champions, and I would be delighted handing them the Chuck D. Cup. Last year, I gave them an autographed ball, because they proved themselves worthy. In 2 consecutive post-seasons, they showed our crowd some of the best games ever played. Fuck it - Fetch Me a Bandanna - I'm rooting for them this year!
Zach and Paul graciously handed me their lineup, and I gotta tell ya, it's a little messed up. As a fan, let me help them out. Here's what they gave me:
Elana Luppino, 1B. Very reliable and heady player. She makes few errors, and kicks well enough to earn true singles, not some BKKB present typically given to leadoff batters. She's quick enough to score many runs. Her captains call her "the best girl in the league" and my friend Paul once described her as "the hottest girl ever." Damn, Elana, you've got alot to live up to.
Zach Kinsella, SS. As I said, he's quick and has power, but not as much as his successors in the lineup. He's aggressive on the basebaths, but has the wisdom to stop and let his teammates kick him in. As he's so damn skinny (he's won the nicest legs award 2 years running), fielders should play the bag rather than try to peg him.
Priest Fontaine, 3B. I love this fucking guy. A transplant from Lawrence, Kansas, he brings tremendous spirit and leadership to the JCMs and the league. Always dressed in some ridiculous outfit, he keeps the proper perspective while rocking 'round the bases. His arm is superior to most, his speed is mercurial, and he just loves playing this game. He once ran a league back in Kansas, and I have no idea why he's never won an award here.
Tom "Shirtless" McDonough, LF. While I wish Dodgeball's commish knew how to check his sash at the gate, he is an awesome player and a really nice, smart guy. He provides a deep boot, excellent coverage in Left, and a canon for an arm. I've seen him smile after both narrow, post-season defeats, and I hope to see him grin as he grabs the Cup.
Brooke Bishop, RC?. This gent is a man's man. I think we permanently bonded when we worked 4 am- 4pm shift together for last year's Fashion Week. He possesses a very cool demeanor, and seems wise beyond his years. Look for Brooke to drive in runs and get the motherfucking job done.
"Handsome" Ben Haynes, LC? Ben is a relatively new addition to the team, and his svelt frame makes him fit right in. I honestly don't know how well he can kick, but I must assume he is capable of doing the little things to keep the scoring going. Also, skinny equals quick. If he can advance the runners while taking advantage of poor fielding relays, then he's just fine kicking 6th. I should also note that Ben was kind enough to design the online voting system for the Kickies, which I can now use forever. Thanks, mang, but I still may need a little more help.
Stephanie Kuss, P. Let's try and get beyond her status as BKKB's pinup girl. Recently, I saw her boot a solid single well into the outfield, and I thought, "You Go, Girl!" Her arm is good enough to make routine plays, and I hope she starts doing the little things a pitcher should, such as covering first and always backing up the ball. To be fair, I don't see any BKKB pitchers fulfilling their traditional duties. But if our model can, then perhaps everyone else will too. To conclude, I won't let her be on any Kickies beauty ballots this year, so we can give some other hot dame a turn. I know she prefers that, as she is a total class act, and I've never detected a hint of snobbery from her. She's genuinely dope.
Kristen "She's No Ham Sandwich" Baker P/C. While Stephanie gets the awards, Kristen gets the press. I can't imagine a cuter woman than her - she's the All-American white girl. Kristen, do what you gotta do to win this thing, I know you have it in you.
Paul Kehoe, SS. Paul will kick solid singles and stir things up. Again, he's a very good choice to stick at the bottom of the order. It's not a relegation - it's a wise tactical move. He'll most likely have R.K.I. opportunities, and hell be on base for the big kickers to bring him in.
Erin Elizabeth Hogan-Braker, aka, "Heartbreaker", C. Guys, unless you have a nice bank account and a bad-boy attitude, don't even bother with this one. However, I know that even when I tell you this, you'll still fall sucker to her Siren charms. But she's always been cool to me, and even is gonna fix my suit for the dance. She did it last year. Her best quality on the field is her power to distract.
Angelique - According to Zach, "Ange is solid, really good on base percentage, good low kicking, can catch, hot, funny, curses like a sailor."
This team features some interesting and contrasting personalities. Zach and Paul, their captains, are quiet and reserved, while Priest and Shirtless and flamboyant. As for the women...wow, not only are they all so gorgeous and sexy, but their sincerity and sweetness make you wanna bring them home to Mom. While sometimes I've needed marriage counseling with them, Brooklyn Kickball is so much for the better with the John Cougar Mellencamps.
Straight up - they deserve to be called Champions, and I would be delighted handing them the Chuck D. Cup. Last year, I gave them an autographed ball, because they proved themselves worthy. In 2 consecutive post-seasons, they showed our crowd some of the best games ever played. Fuck it - Fetch Me a Bandanna - I'm rooting for them this year!
Zach and Paul graciously handed me their lineup, and I gotta tell ya, it's a little messed up. As a fan, let me help them out. Here's what they gave me:
- Zach Kinsella
- Elana Lupino
- Paul Kehoe
- Priest Fontaine
- Tom "Shirtless" McDonough
- Stephanie Kuss
- Ben Haynes
- Kristen Baker
- Angelique
- Brook Bishop
- Erin Heartbreaker
- Elana
- Zach
- Priest
- Shirtless
- Brooke
- Ben
- Stephanie
- Kristen
- Erin
- Paul
- Angelique
Elana Luppino, 1B. Very reliable and heady player. She makes few errors, and kicks well enough to earn true singles, not some BKKB present typically given to leadoff batters. She's quick enough to score many runs. Her captains call her "the best girl in the league" and my friend Paul once described her as "the hottest girl ever." Damn, Elana, you've got alot to live up to.
Zach Kinsella, SS. As I said, he's quick and has power, but not as much as his successors in the lineup. He's aggressive on the basebaths, but has the wisdom to stop and let his teammates kick him in. As he's so damn skinny (he's won the nicest legs award 2 years running), fielders should play the bag rather than try to peg him.
Priest Fontaine, 3B. I love this fucking guy. A transplant from Lawrence, Kansas, he brings tremendous spirit and leadership to the JCMs and the league. Always dressed in some ridiculous outfit, he keeps the proper perspective while rocking 'round the bases. His arm is superior to most, his speed is mercurial, and he just loves playing this game. He once ran a league back in Kansas, and I have no idea why he's never won an award here.
Tom "Shirtless" McDonough, LF. While I wish Dodgeball's commish knew how to check his sash at the gate, he is an awesome player and a really nice, smart guy. He provides a deep boot, excellent coverage in Left, and a canon for an arm. I've seen him smile after both narrow, post-season defeats, and I hope to see him grin as he grabs the Cup.
Brooke Bishop, RC?. This gent is a man's man. I think we permanently bonded when we worked 4 am- 4pm shift together for last year's Fashion Week. He possesses a very cool demeanor, and seems wise beyond his years. Look for Brooke to drive in runs and get the motherfucking job done.
"Handsome" Ben Haynes, LC? Ben is a relatively new addition to the team, and his svelt frame makes him fit right in. I honestly don't know how well he can kick, but I must assume he is capable of doing the little things to keep the scoring going. Also, skinny equals quick. If he can advance the runners while taking advantage of poor fielding relays, then he's just fine kicking 6th. I should also note that Ben was kind enough to design the online voting system for the Kickies, which I can now use forever. Thanks, mang, but I still may need a little more help.
Stephanie Kuss, P. Let's try and get beyond her status as BKKB's pinup girl. Recently, I saw her boot a solid single well into the outfield, and I thought, "You Go, Girl!" Her arm is good enough to make routine plays, and I hope she starts doing the little things a pitcher should, such as covering first and always backing up the ball. To be fair, I don't see any BKKB pitchers fulfilling their traditional duties. But if our model can, then perhaps everyone else will too. To conclude, I won't let her be on any Kickies beauty ballots this year, so we can give some other hot dame a turn. I know she prefers that, as she is a total class act, and I've never detected a hint of snobbery from her. She's genuinely dope.
Kristen "She's No Ham Sandwich" Baker P/C. While Stephanie gets the awards, Kristen gets the press. I can't imagine a cuter woman than her - she's the All-American white girl. Kristen, do what you gotta do to win this thing, I know you have it in you.
Paul Kehoe, SS. Paul will kick solid singles and stir things up. Again, he's a very good choice to stick at the bottom of the order. It's not a relegation - it's a wise tactical move. He'll most likely have R.K.I. opportunities, and hell be on base for the big kickers to bring him in.
Erin Elizabeth Hogan-Braker, aka, "Heartbreaker", C. Guys, unless you have a nice bank account and a bad-boy attitude, don't even bother with this one. However, I know that even when I tell you this, you'll still fall sucker to her Siren charms. But she's always been cool to me, and even is gonna fix my suit for the dance. She did it last year. Her best quality on the field is her power to distract.
Angelique - According to Zach, "Ange is solid, really good on base percentage, good low kicking, can catch, hot, funny, curses like a sailor."
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Home Teams are in Bold. If there are any Tie-Breakers, the Higher Seed is Home.
# posted by Kevin : 7:53 PM
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just curious, why not run two games at 5pm then two games at 6pm, as opposed to the 3games/1game format? some of us want to watch these other teams play.
who the fuck said I was from Witchita? I fucking hate that place!! god damn it. any place but that.
love, priest
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love, priest
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Here's something to help you, lifted from the Kickbacks' website:
