Kickball Standings, For Your Amusement

So here we go again, Kids. The Big Dance is approaching its Last Waltz. Let me offer my congrats to Prison, the Bacon Bits, The John Cougar Mellencamps, and the Commishments, aka the Commitments, aka The Non-Committals, aka Team Mixon. They all battled hard to make it this far. 3 out these 4 had to play 3 times to advance, let's go through these series one by one:

Prison v. Sugartits: Prison won the first and third games handily, but got beat in-between. That's what I love about the Best of 3 format. While anything can happen in 5 innings, you have to prove it twice. Prison was the favorite, slipped up a little, but showed why they've been one of our best teams for 2 and a half seasons now. Big ups to the Tits for making Prison sweat a little, but now Prison is stronger for it. I hope the Sugar Tits return next season, bigger and sweeter.

Mellencamps v. Never Scared: Both of these squads have emerged as my personal faves, as they got alotta spunk, talent, and hotness. However, The JCMs practiced on Saturday and really took it to Never Scared. What I witnessed from their 2 games were just 2 separate scoring flurries from the JCMs. I don't like to see anyone upset, and I feel bad I didn't see any teal shirts after their last game. Never Scared, there's always time for a beer with me. You put your hearts on the line and never be ashamed of that. Did anyone see Justin's one-of-a-kind cuff links at the Dance? They were hilarious. We'll hook up soon, and to Dan Clark, their captain, kudos to you for keeping your spirited team together. However, once again, the Mellencamps will vie for the Cup, and the 28th may finally deliver that elusive, glorious Sunday. Many were pleased to see Eli Myers' triumphant return to McCarren. While only a cameo, twas good to see him.

Bacon Bits v. Redeem Team: I umped all three in this series, and this matchup was tight. In their collective 15 innings, 12 of them were scoreless. Both of these teams field very well, and are very methodical. There was even some drama from these typically sedate teams. But they feature many super dope dudes, and I often Gchat with their respective captains. My hat is off to Tough Kev Kennedy for taking the Dreamers very far. Next season, they should get another infielder and move Brad, their talented southpaw 3rd baseman, to the outfield. Hopefully Maria won't get knocked up, and she'll finally become a champ. Russo, no one wants it more for you than me, kiddo. God knows I tried when we were Malones.

New Frontiersmen v. Commishments: This 3 game Main Field rematch of last year's semi-final was captivating. Their first game went into extra innings and everyone was watching it from all over the field. It even delayed the beginning of the Never Scared-JCMs second game on the Outhouse. As I was umping the Monster, I noticed the Frontiersmen with a runner on third on the brink of ending it. But somehow, as always, the Orangesle-, errr, Burnina--, oh yeah, the Commitments held tough and won it. Then Zach approaches me and asks if the New Fronts can delay the 2nd game as Mike Altman, the New Fronts captain, is returning from his mother's wedding in Pennsylvania. I didn't mind, but then I suffered the wrath of Jesse Alexander, who hadn't yet completed all his work prep for Monday. So everyone waited, and the resilient Frontiersmen took the 2nd game. Now Jesse was really mad at me. But the third and final 5 innings went the Commits way, and Sportz returned to his old self. To the New Fronts, you had an excellent season. You put defending champs on the ropes, and I hope one day you make it all the way to 'Frisco. For Sportz and Wheelz, they will now compete in their 5th Final Night. No one else can make that claim.