Kickball Standings, For Your Amusement

While I don't like having too many rules, nor deliberating upon them, at least once a season, I must address them. I strive to prevent injuries, clarify some issues, and offer some enlightenment about the spirit of the league. Please understand my perception: mostly, the evenings are going fine, and people are enjoying themselves. Still, there's always a need for progress, especially in a dynamic league like this. I will cover three things, and please comment as to have a rich dialogue. I welcome any legitimate questions about rules here and now.

"Get it to the pitcher!!!" God, hearing that over and over can be embarrassing. Yes, the rule states that a play is over once the fielding team controls the ball on the mound. But that doesn't mean that the defense should wuss out and not try to make a doable play, and just relay the ball back to the mound, hoping the ump declares the runner wasn't halfway or something. In those situations, I give preference to the runners. Fielding is easier in kickball than baseball for two big reasons: one, there is an extra fielder, and two, pegging is allowed. Plus, smart fielders grasp fundamentals like good relays and backing up plays. So don't think veteran umps are gonna cow-tow to wussiness. Make a play.

Always avoid injury and collision. This is why we have double-bases at first and none of them are tied down. Still, I still see and feel explosions on first, even with two motherfucking bags. Should there be three? On a play to first, the white part is fair and for the fielder, while the orange is foul and the for the runner. If a player misuses first, the ump can award a call to the other player. For instance, if a runner just bowls into the first baseman, and the first baseman has his foot on the white, and his body is not in the plane of the baseline, then the runner could be called out. Conversely, if a fielder is unnecessarily blocking the basepath (such as not being near the ball), the runner could be ruled safe by interference. Fielders, please make way for the runners, with the exception of pop-flys and close plays at home. Even then, no fielder can be more than 3 feet off of the plate, or that could be deemed interference.

"No (fucking) bunting...The kicker's intent does not matter; neither do the mechanics of the kicker. Being able to chip it forcefully is just fine. What matters is the force (f=m*a) of the ball after it's been kicked. The ump may consider whether or not the fielding team can get the lead runner, or if the kicker can out-run the ball, but ultimately, the force of the ball is paramount in a bunt call." I wrote that rule, with the input of many people over 6 years. A bunt is like porn, you know it when you see it. Only one ump has the power to make that call, otherwise there'd be chaos.

Enjoy the Standings. Tourney weekend is comping up in a month, the weekend of July 11th!

. Team Mercy Wins Wins Losses Mercy Losses Ties Winning % Games . . Never Scared 3 5 1 1 1.000 10 . John Cougar Mellancamps 1 6 1 0.938 8 . Crucial Taunt 2 2 2 1 0.786 7 . Ponyboys 1 4 2 0.786 7 . Dream Team 1 2 1 3 0.714 7 . Sugar Tits! 2 2 2 4 0.700 10 . Bacon Bits 3 1 3 0.643 7 . New Frontiersmen 6 2 2 0.700 10 . Diddy's White Party ft. Fat Kid Hustle 5 2 1 0.688 8 . Zeus' Beard 1 3 2 3 0.667 9 . Lightning Turtles 5 3 0.625 8 . Bourgy Ballers 1 4 1 2 1 0.600 10 . Divine Sisterhood of the Sacred Bleeding Heart 4 1 1 2 0.588 8.5 . Government Kickbacks 4 1 1 2 0.588 8.5 . Brooklyn United 1 2 3 2 0.563 8 . Mathletes 4 2 1 2 0.526 9.5 . Mau Maus 3 3 2 0.500 8 . Wrecking Crew 3 3 3 0.500 9

. People's Court 3 3 4 0.500 10 . Wyld Stallyns 1 3 3 0.429 7 . Kickball Fever 1 3 0.375 4 . Storm of Lazers 2 2 1 0.364 5.5 . Regression Aggression 1 3 2 0.333 6 . Balls to the Wall 2 4 1 3 0.333 10.5 . Booze on First 1 3 1 0.300 5 . Majesty 1 5 2 0.250 8 . Space Cadets 1 3 1 1 0.231 6.5 . Hot for Teacher 1 3 1 0.182 5.5 . Salute Tour Jorts 1 4 2 1 0.167 9 . Los Piratas Mechanicos 4 2 0.167 6 . Dolls Kicking Balls 1 2 3 0.133 7.5 . Anubis 3 1 0.000 4.5