Kickball Standings, For Your Amusement

Wow, good thing Franz posted that promised kickball blog later on that day, I was getting tired of holding my breath. I played a game similar to Killers in High School; it left me damp from a perpetually leaky water gun, and pinched from an angry teacher. PINCHED I SAY, IN PUBLIC HIGH SCHOOL!!!

While I think this urban-stalker-game is a great idea I'll probably pass, I pretty much know where my survival/combat/gaming skills stand thanks to what has strangely become my father's primary occupation over the last twenty years. That and there's already enough stress and paranoia in my life. I am looking forward to partaking in other StreetWars, the possibilities are endless.

I think our league is a great combination of schoolyard athletics and adult art-project(s). Extra curricular excursions like Killer and the July 5th anti-Bush fundraiser should be embraced by us. Is anyone going to say kickball hasn't yielded a cool community? As such, sending Brooklyn Kickball delegates into the world; to represent at other kickball leagues, to throw kickball parties at clubs and bars accross the vast city (and as close as the Mark Bar), and to go off trying to assasinate one another with squirt guns, this is all seems like A Really Good Thing. My one word of caution is to just be careful out in the big city with gun-looking devices, even water pistols, its a scary world already and cops can get the wrong idea fast.

Hopefully, I'll have a car for the July 5th fundraiser and if anyone would like a ride and can get to Greenpoint/Williamsburg I'll try to oblige.

SweetPea

As it's for a really good cause, and there is no Kickball on this Sunday, July 4th, come play Monday, In Prosepct Park, from 12-3, for the....



$25 dollars in the SUGGESTED Donation. But as I asked for only $1 last Sunday and received a measly $33 from you cheap fucks, they should make it mandatory.
I hope everyone can go and represent, and most of us will be off on Monday, so let's do this thang. If teams show up, then the games are "official." I'll proudly be helping Amy in some capacity that day, because I know I want Bush the fuck out. So I'm willing to transcend any jealous competitiveness.

Going to the Parks Department today, I'll chime in tonight and let everyone know how it went. Any sluts want to come with?

And so it begins...

If someone put a hit on you, that you knew about, would you be slick and quick witted enough to survive? I mean, you never know who yer gonna piss off in life and how they're going to try to get back at you...so consider this practice for possible future events...

STREETWARS GAME 1 - KILLER -

KILLER 

A round-robin, all city, 24/7 assassination tournament. 
 
At the start of the game you will receive a manila envelope containing the following: 

A picture of your intended target

The home address of your intended target

The work address of your intended target

The name of your intended target 

Upon receipt of these items, your mission is to find and kill (by way of water gun, water balloon or super soaker) your target. You can hunt your target down any way you see fit; you can pose as a delivery person and jack them when they open the door, disguise yourself and take them out on the street, wait for them near Mcarren Park on Sunday, etc. If you are successful in your assassination attempt, the person you killed will give you their envelope and the person they were supposed to kill becomes your new target. This continues until you work yourself through all the players and retrieve the envelope with your picture and name in it. Then you win. Cash…but first live in fear. 

Entry Fee: $6

To enter, email streetwars04@yahoo.com the following information: 

Name

Home Address

Work Address

A Picture of yourself with (at least) your face clearly visible

Contact Information 

A gang representative will contact you shortly thereafter. 

RULES 
 

Safe Zones: 

1 block radius from work

Inside subway cars

Inside buses

Inside bars (not restaurants with bars, ONLY bars)

Inside the boundaries of Mcarren Park, on Sundays. 

Weapons: 

Water gun handguns

Water balloons

Super Soakers 


Kills: 

1 hit kills. Regardless of where you are hit, if you are wet, you are dead 

If you are hit with a water balloon and it does NOT break, it is NOT a kill. If the balloon does NOT hit you, but you are hit with water from the balloon, you are dead 

If the Killee hits the Killer BEFORE they are hit, the Killer is barred from another assassination attempt for 24 hours 

You MUST make AT LEAST 1 assassination attempt per week. If you do not, you will be marked as Killed and disqualified 

ALL KILLS MUST BE REPORTED within 1 hour of the kill. To report kills, either dial 917.331.3753 or email streetwars04@yahoo.com with the kill information and your new target. 

Teaming Up: 

If you have the balls to trust others and want to team up on hits, it IS allowed, BUT ONLY A HIT FROM THE KILLER SHALL COUNT AS A KILL. Other hits DO NOT count, they may be a fine way to distract the Killee while the actual Killer gets their shot in however… 

NO TRUCES. If you have someone else’s card, you MUST attempt to kill them. If a truce is discovered, you will both be disqualified (marked as Killed) AND your team will be penalized. 

Disputes: 

If ANY dispute turns physical, you will both be marked as Killed AND your team will be penalized. 

If you cannot settle a “who got hit first” dispute by yourselves, you can call 917.331.3753 or email streetwars04@yahoo.com and arrange a same day SW hearing. In that hearing a panel of 3 will decide your case – their decisions are final and indisputable. Regardless of your position (Killer or Killee), the loser of the hearing will be marked as KILLED and will have to pay a $10 penalty fee (fee to be added to the winner’s pot).  

Winning: 

The game will continue until there is 1 person left standing 

If the game continues for 3 weeks with no winner, a sudden death tournament will be organized with the remaining players. 

Prizes: 

Cash prizes will be awarded in the following categories: 

Last Man Standing

Most Kills 


Future StreetWars games will be: 

CAPTURE THE FLAG

GHOST IN THE GRAVEYARD

NYC TAG

ODDBALL/ESCAPE FROM NY

WARRIORS RACE

Just got off the phone after a long conversation with the other Brooklyn Commissioner: Amy Short. She seems very cool and honest. Although our leagues will be somewhat different, there's tons to like about what she's providing. Her fees are reasonable, at $720 a team, and she does give you alot for your money. Plus, she is a businesswoman, and doesn't intend on taking a bath, as I did in the fall. She wants the dough up front, and since she's put her own money up front to get the field space in Prospect Park, there is nothing wrong with her system at all.

She reigns from Baltimore, whose league I found out about only recently. From there she got her ideas about a very strict Co-Ed rule (with which i mostlty agree, and I truly admire the spirit behind it), and a fining system, with which I do not agree at all. Something tells me she may be liberal about fining, but that's her decision.

Bottom line: I invited her to come this Sunday to promote her league, and she will. She'll show up with fliers, and I will give her time to talk. Please, as I feel she is on the level, hear her out, and perhaps you can have two great nights of kickball in your week. Anyone showing her disrespect can hit the showers. I know exactly what she's going through, and I respect that. If u do not like something about her league, you can voice it with her, and perhaps she'll be receptive. But there is no reason to spew rancor. Again, kickball can go on everywhere, every night of the week, as far as I'm concerned.

COMPETITION: from another league in Brooklyn!!!

Guys, I have many different reactions to this new league. First, I say, the more the merrier. There is more than enough room for a billion kickball leagues in this Great City of Ours. If teams put up the $720 ante, which i do not find unreasonable, enjoy a nice Monday Night. You get a shirt with that, as well as some beer specials at sponsoring local bars. Its CO-ED rule is far stricter than ours, even makes me reconsider adapting it again, which, I did only a couple of days ago. So to Amy Short, the Commish over there: Kudos. Plus, she's the first Woman Commishioner of any league I know.

But they have FINES, and forfeits! If you alter your shirt, you're fined, and must pay the league. If a team violates the "ref" rule, it's $75. If you're not wearing your official uniform, you can't play. So they have issues similar to the ones we hate about the NBA. I have never even thought to tell a team to forfeit a game. Can its players dis the umps to the press, or is that a suspension?

Things happen so quickly. First we have the lights for the summer, then we don't. I am debating if it's a coincidence that once we lose our lights, the other league gets theirs in Prospect Park. However, if we got the lights there, would our league have transferred smoothly, because, everyone hates the idea of Roosevelt Island, and it's closer (at least by bicycle or car), and we could have it on the same night!?!

I am annoyed by the appraised culture of the other league. Jens and I set a tone for our league: free-wheeling, chaotic, but not outta hand. Countless hours I spent on this machine trying to make things cool for all, considering all kinda issues, making it appealing to as many types as possible. One of my biggest fears was that it would be too Hipster, and well, it is. But theirs seems like Lily-Cracka-Ass-Corporate-Whitey. I could be very wrong, and maybe Amy will strive to make her league as diverse as I want ours. I hope the Latin Kings and Chuck D. show up more often.

But folks knew our brand of k'ball was gonna be cool. If not, why did so many come? Let's face it: it is dope. I got this kind message from the Commish over in Seattle, Todd Arkley, just the other day:

kevin,

what can i say? i just spent the whole evening reading your whole weblog, watching videos, etc.

i love brooklyn kickball. there. i said it.

reading about your trials and tribulations in the blog, its as if we're sharing the same commish-mind.
i feel the same love and the same hurts all fuckin' season long. for real. god i love kickball.

it's retarded - i end up thinking, talking, writing, theorizing about kickball all the time. luckily, all the teams are becoming just as obsessed. our season is young - week #2 starts tomorrow and we'll be playing until the end of August. quick, check it out. www.arkley.net/kickball.

I implore everone to go to his site, because he and his brother's leagues are just like ours. They fuck around, drink, destroy other teams' symbols in effigy, and have a ton of fun. This is the part of America the world should know. Plus, it's not retarded, commishes like us have given their respective communities a chance to chill hard-core, forget about the bullshit in their lives, adapt different personas, make friends and lovers, and enjoy themsleves thoroughly. So many have told me that Kickball has either made them happy, or considerably happier than they were. At Sunday Night's End, I go around asking everyone if they had a good time, and almost invariably they say yes.

If i appeared like a grumpy Gus, then I'm a malcontent, but mostly, everyone got to do what they wanted. We want to keep it that way. Please encourage all your friends and teammates to come at 2 and keep our league alive.

But, if u go can do it, go ahead and join the other league as well; hell, I'm tempted. But remember what Sundays are about, albeit at 2, instead of 6. However, ya never know, we may have a miracle coming our way to reclaim the lights. But don't bet on it.

Never fuck with a cook's food or utensils (particularly if said cook is actually in the process of cooking and not actively involved in a particular situation). Also, spatulas are never hot, most are made of a plastic polymer that can withstand extreme temperatures AND stays cool to the touch...

Unlike Senor Pea, I actually plan to address some kicball related issues. Just not in this posting...expect another later today, oh and feel free to hold your breath.

LPM
RA

This is Sweetpea, posting a B-L-O-G on the W-E-B. Kevin asked me to write some thoughts, though all I have to say to these other postings is that I personally witnessed Franz Pirato physically assault another player with a hot spatula.

Also, its great that the Orphans got Bass to sponsor their uniforms. Bass is so important, its hard to think of any contemporary music without it. Remember when you were driving to the Galleria Mall in mom's stationwagon with your cronies all high and shit and Chuck D was blastin out the little speakers? What was keepin you bumpin? BASE!!! Indeed, how low can you go - how about Geddy Lee all rockin out on that Fender Jazz Bass on Moving Pictures?? You know hearing that shit gave you the rock chill, that and seeing Rush on the Power Windows tour in '85 with Ted and Ted's dad, don't front.

Big ups to the little red triangle also appears on the new Orphans uniform. GO, LITTLE RED TRIANGLE!!!

Congrats to Franz for passing da Bar. I offer this pleasantry now, (and hey, ladies, if franz weren't taken, I'm sure you could get him to star in your kinky kickball porn, but feel free to ask me, i'll do anything on film if you drug me first), because there will be tons of things below he will disagree with. Perhaps, everything! But Franz is a stand up guy even if his B.A.L. will probably be too high for court.

I don't even know how to focus with all the goingson and different issues:

I guess this is first: there is a three girl minimum on the field, as of now. If you ain't got three sistas, you best get them, or I'll deduct a fielder for every woman you lack.

We are approaching our last night under the lights. Yes, I am not happy about it. To everyone I say, I hope we can maintain attendance, as I know biting into peoples' days is not the most convenient of scheduling. But try to get people to get off their hungover ass into the Sun by 2.

Franz, aka the Rear Admiral, and I have quickly become friends, and even quicker have butted heads on a variety of issues. He believes, as do others, that someone throwing a swing should be thrown out for good. Actually, I do too, but I had to make an exception because almost from day one, members of Los Piratas Mechanicos have violated the spirit of the game, specifically on the issue of trash talking. Some on the team have been "trite or violent" and I should have thrown some of them off the field on at least 5 occasions. Not that I want to, and trust me, I have mad respect for their team, their winning streak, and many of their players. They have a great core of infielders, and some of the best kickers in the league. To boot, many of them work diligently and bravely for their respective jobs/careers. But for whatever reason, some of them look at me as their enemy, as if I'm not responsible for their having many a great Sunday night. They think I'm picking on them when I tell them, say every inning of their every game, not to throw the ball around between innings, because I want to have as many games on the main field as possible. They have gotten in my face about umpiring, when really, the only people ever providing consistent, helpful and qualified umping, besides me, is Kevin Harley and Jensy. I have to CONSTANTLY beg people to umpire, and meanwhile, does anyone notice how much I spend refereeing, and helping to organize the games on both fields(although, this past week, Jensy was chiefly responsible for the card table)? SURE, I will miss a call, EVERYONE WILL, which is why I consulted with another umpire twice, just like they do in the NBA. I even appealed to a fielder's honesty (during the lopsided Orphans-Pirates game) as to whether or not he dropped a ball on a force-out play, and his better nature compelled him to admit he did, and I reversed the call.

But I say to everyone, especially to the Captains, with the exception of Kevin and Jensy: you get what u give. In order to have a well officiated game, we need three umps on the Main Field. If I'm not playing, I will call 2nd base. If you can't get your teammates to call games with knowledge, conviction, and true attention, DO NOT EXPECT TO GET IT IN YOUR GAME.

Furthermore, Franz is a funny, intelligent man, and I like the way he runs Los Piratas. His trash-talking is humorous and within bounds. But the fact that he has to spell out basic rules, not in kickball, but in life, such as: no punching, no spitting, no kicking, etc, implies that he knows some on his team can be belligerent drunks. People on his team have crossed over the line, and have received nothing so much but as an admonishment from him.

I don't care if people don't think that one can't be violent with words. Just because it's not against the law, doesn't mean it's not wrong. Many of the Ten Commandments are legal. Some Commandments shouldn't be illegal in certain cases, such as killin' or stealing from Whitey. Conversely, the pot you smoke could get ya busted. or Trouble. Do not stand weasly behind the law, as many of the laws in this country are fucked up. So trust me, for starters and for instance, if anyone calls me a "Bitch", a word I've learned/grown to detest, you're out of that game. If I see someone saying "Bring it On!" with foam running down their mouth, you're gone too. The spirit of the game is Paramount to me. Don't act like a dick and then say you're kidding: that is soooo gay. People can sense your true nature and intentions.

However, henceforth, anyone throwing a swing is gone for the season. Anyone retaliating beyond reason is expelled too.

Having said all that, as much as I was annoyed at the time, and had to be annoyed, BA's traitor move was funny and well orchestrated. So props to Franz and BA for that entertainment. Franz has very many great ideas for different outings all of us Kickballers can participate in, and I'm sure he'll let you all know soon.

Last word on the last night under the lights: enjoy it. We were lucky to have it and I hope we can get it again soon. Please, go easy on the drinking during the day games. You *will* wipe yourself out quickly, and I don't want or need people foolishly passing out in 90+ degree weather. Bring plenty of water, and keep yourself hydrated and wet. With a little luck you can get wet with a friend.

LPM weighs in on shit...

...and you know you want to hear it suckaz.

Respect to you Kevin for the apology. Doesn't make everythang all hunky-dory, but it goes a long way...fo' reals.

We are a confusing bunch, but one thing that never changes about us is that we do not half-step about anything. Spitting in the hand is a straight up pussy move (like bunting) and I don't think it is something anyone on the Pirates would do. If they did (either bunt or spit in the hand), I guarantee you that I would kick the pussy ass motherfucker right off the team quick. We are assholes, we know that, we are Pirates, what do you expect...but as was posted in the Blog here and in the Forum here as well, we abide by certain rules, reprinted below:

The rules are simple:

1. No punching
2. No kicking
3. No spitting
4. No fucking with other people's property
5. Pushing and Shoving are allowed, but keep it tame
6. Pouring liquor on others in the "brawl" is encouraged
7. Despite the shit-talking and respective team records/rivalries, we are above all friends, tied together by kickball...act that way.

Perhaps it would have been wiser of me to drop the knowledge in advance before we played. I think if people knew what to expect and that it was an act for the field, they would be less offended/stressed/whathaveyou. My bad. Lesson learned for next time.

All that said, I truly respect the fact that you came up in here and owned up to your actions. Despite the dirt throwing, shit talking, rowdiness we exhude during games, we're on whupass terms with just about all the other teams in the league. They know how we roll and what we do, they expect it and they (try) to serve it back in kind...and everyone has a great time.

My concern (and the reason I was calling for a lifetime ban for you) is that last Sunday was the first time a punch was thrown in anger like that in kickball and I do NOT want that type of shit to even have a chance of happening again. We are having too much fun to have shit spoiled by a hothead that doesn't get it and takes shit WAY too seriously.

As far the reaction, I can forgive...particularly if someone has learned their lesson. BUT there is an enormous difference between words and actions. to retaliate with a similar level of force is acceptable. if dirt was thrown back at us, no problem, if beer was thrown on us, fine, if we were given a severed pig's head, thank you...but the second someone takes a step over the line, that is a huge problem. My reason for not wanting the guy around and refusing to play the team again is not out of revenge, but out of safety...who knows if this guy will snap again? or if in a drunken stupor some rogue pirates want to get "revenge" for his prior actions? the sad fact is that regardless of what we do, there will be some animosity felt between us, whether it is actually expressed or not and i would rather make sure that those feelings stay buried and do not have even the slightest chance of resurfacing. best way to do this? never play the Daggers again.

the pirates allow for its members to cast off the expectations and rules imposed on them by the world to be free for a single day each week. the same concept as the "weekend warrior". get all the pent up aggression, anger, frustration, out in a positive way and return to your daily grind a bit happier than before...the flip side of this way of rolling like this is that emotions can get the best of you and "crowd mentality" can get a stronger hold over you in a volatile situation. Understanding this, i want to avoid such outbursts of possible violence as best I can.

We all realize that we are pretty much hated (on the field, at least) by nearly everyone in kickball...controlling that hate and the reactions to that hate is the challenge i face...keep in mind, that was the first premeditated punch that was thrown in kickball. should not an example be made to drive the point home that shit like that WILL NOT be tolerated ander any circumstances?

part of my fear is that one of my pirates will take this as a message that if someone gets in yer face and is really ruffneck it is ok to deck them, the only punishment is a 2 week suspension. i KNOW that none of the pirates wants to get dropped from kickball...this shit has become a HUGE for many of the people on the team. they would not jeapordize their Sunday fun for the satisfaction of hitting someone...but would they sacrifice 2 sundays for the pleasure of clocking someone? i'm not sure...perhaps? (if i was pissed enough, i might consider it) I do not want that to happen. If the commisioner was a bit tougher about this incident, i think notice would be out that if you do something stupid you are gone, no excuses...as it stands, you do something stupid, you have to go sit in the corner for 15 minutes...and sitting in the corner ain't that bad...

That said, I do kinda understand that not having faced us before, we can come off as intimidating assholes (after all we *are* robot pirates from the future struggling in a war against mankind) and I'm sure losing to us just compounds those feelings of hate y'all were feeling towards us. However, taking it to the next level like that cannot be excused or tolerated. Don't want a league where people feel like it is ok doing shit like that. Under any circumstances, it is wrong. If it was someone from my own team that threw the first punch, rest assured that regardless of their position on the team or their importance to it or my friendship with them, I would make sure they never returned.

My primary concern is for the safety of my team and positive building of the league. I respect your words and where you are coming from, but my feeling on the matter/punishment remains the same.

On the personal side of things, shit is up to you and Adam...

01010010 01100101 01110011 01110000 01100101 01100011 01110100 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01010000 01100101 01100001 01100011 01100101

LPM
4
LIFE

For what it's worth - here's a statement from Kevin, the poor, suspended lad from the Daggers:

My name is kevin, I'm the asshole who took a shot at Adam.

Thanks to my team for standing up for me. Don't stress anymore, please.

Adam was giving me stink-eye and talking pretty heavy. I really think he spit on his hand. He said some fucked up shit after I asked him. That doesn't mean anything though because who knows what to believe with your team -- you have to know you fuckers are a confusing bunch.

I had no right -- at all -- to punch your guy without being completely sure, and even then I should have walked. I'm a giant fuckface.

We just wanted to play some kickball and all that jawing and pegging us in the face with sand and rock had us stressed. I guess we could do that too, but I know I speak for a lot of us when I say I'm not really interested in playing like that. But enough about us.

Not much to say about it now except I'm sorry about that. It was fucked up and childish. No excuse. Apologies to that guy I punched while we were on the ground and especially to Adam: my bad, I mean it sincerely. If I ever see you, I hope you'll let me buy you drinks until you can't remember last Sunday.

Kevin

"Fuck da Po-lice, comin' straight from the underground....." - you should know the rest.

Look ya'll, I grew up in the burbs of Jersey, and if anyone knows firsthand the bullshit cops pull, and I mean, jerkoff high-school assholes/dropouts getting badges, and pissing on the Constitution, it's me. I grew up along Route 22, a major thoroughfare leading into the City, and for every time the police pulled over a black guy, they contributed to the rage and disenfranchisement of minorities while building themselves a superfluous town hall and an ever bigger police station, equipped with a gym most of those fat fucks would never use. "Beat tha police outta shape, and when I'm finished, bring the yellow tape."

Prior to 9-11, there was a considerable movement to undo what basically every reasonable Jersey resident knew: let's stop bullying the African-Americans. This cause gained some steam, and the State Police Chief lost his job over some lose lipping. However, the bad-apple theory prevailed, and with most whites thinking well, why are the blacks the ones getting arrested for drugs?, they're the criminals!, our guys are just protecting our fine neighborhoods. Then 9-11 happened, and even chubby suburban cops are given credit for something they had nothing to do with, and racial profiling became justified, I fear, permanently.

So yeah, I hate cops too. They do more to cause racial rifts in our country than the KKK ever did. If I had it my way, I'd fire all of them all and let the minorities run that system. But we know that's not happening, as everyone should know that if one of ours is getting busted, that basically reciting "Fuck da Police" is not gonna help. Sure, you may feel better, and feel a sense of entitlement while dissing the cops, but, are u the one with the head forced down on the back of the cops' trunk? Are u gonna change the system on a Sunday Night while half in the bag?

What happened Sunday was bad all around. 2 people, in the throws of passion and joy, used bad judgement and got caught. But then, onlookers thought they could help, when really, they're making the situation worse. All I can say is, besides the fact that I feel badly for those embarrassed (to be euphemistic), now the local police may give us a closer look than for no other reason just to fuck with us. So to that I say, for the next couple weeks, please be more careful. Also, and to conclude, show nothing but respect to our funny but misguided criminals. God knows I've enjoyed many a public bare-bottom spanking at places like Pandora's Box, so I ain't above shit. I adore Kink, and I wish everyone were the same. I'd love to climax every Sunday with a Kickball Orgy right in the middle of our lit field, televised for the whole world to see, if for no other reason than to prove to Jensy that orgies do exist. Just so ya know where I'm coming from ;)

VIOLENCE IS NOT TOLERATED AROUND THESE PARTS! What is violence, anyway?

Dictionary.com defines "violence" as such:

1. Physical force exerted for the purpose of violating, damaging, or abusing: crimes of violence.
2. The act or an instance of violent action or behavior.
3. Intensity or severity, as in natural phenomena; untamed force: the violence of a tornado.
4. Abusive or unjust exercise of power.
5. Abuse or injury to meaning, content, or intent: do violence to a text.
6. Vehemence of feeling or expression; fervor.

So, although violence is commonly thought to be just physical, it has other, more subtle meanings. The point: if you talk violently, and someone takes you seriously, particularly if that someone doesn't know you any better, because, say, he is a stranger, then don't cry virgin if that someone wants to hit you. I don't like hitting, and I've really only done that very few times in my life, but I know I've been violent in my rhetoric to other people, and my mouth did damage. So, thus, I have been violent, and I needed to change myself.

Remember, there are fine lines between trash talk, disparagement, and violence, which is why the rules say, quite clearly, to never trash talk in a violent or trite way.

So, if I see anyone talking violently, they're getting thrown out too. That is why I feel I should be somewhat lenient to the the pugnacious Brooklyn Dagger: he was violently approached verbally, and he reacted with physical violence. My decree is this: he will be suspended for the duration of June. He will not be expelled. If anyone feels I'm being a wuss, then remember I will be even more strict about what the true meaning of violence is.

If you read this, thanks HilaryJane.

PLAY NICE, OR ELSE MUTHAFUCKER! Peace.

Sundays -

Ya know, right now it's Sunday at 1 PM, and I'm just getting into the swing of things. I wonder how the league will be in a month when we have to schlep there at 2.

Let me say I do not want to change the time to 2. We were forced to by the Parks Department, and if anybody has ever had to deal with a such an agency, you'll believe when I say, I shoulda bribed them. If I had good cash I would have, but it's too late now anyway. We're just gonna have to sweat it out at 2, and trust me, I imagine once we make the adjustment, we will make it great. We'll need tons of water, mini pools, hydro-guns, slip n slides.......wait, slip n sliding into home??? I'll have to pass that one around. Also, we'll do many things afterwards, such as go watch a movie at the Mark, hit a Sunday night baseball game, and spank Lauren (ah, what coulda been, that hottie was my original date for the Dance, and I fucked it up by asking another. I just didn't think she was being serious at first, as I didn't hear from hear from her until 8 days after i asked her...i just didn't know. But she was of the evening's princesses, and she made a point of sticking it to me every five minutes. Sweetly, though, we did find humor, closure and resolution doing a paultry line of blow together.)

Speaking of which....

The Kick Ball was a mighty success for everyone except my cock, and the few precious people that could not attend, one of whom I'll name, Josh Johnson. Joshie's a good pallie and I always want him around to make our neuvo Rack Pack. The goal of every maturing clique is rock it like those Three (yes, Joey Bishop and Peter Lawford kinda don't register at all: to sing, dance, drink, drug, smoke, and charm many a fine lady's panties down. Tell you one thing, I do plan on taking matters more seriously, and girlfriends, I really want and need to go on such a fuck spree, you have no idea. You will get nothing but roses, respect, and breaka-dawn stamina.

Getting back to the Big Dance, let it be a lesson to all you fiances out there, sweating out every detail and every moment leading up to the churchbells: CHILL. We conceived of it on a Sunday night, May 22nd, after kickball, and held the event less than 2 weeks later on Saturday June 5th. The Mark Bar was set up perfectly, we had streamers, balloon-arches, a Harpist, a photographer, great punch with lime sherbet and ginger ale for extra froth (no, there was no E in it), Hipsters dressing with class, good DJing and dancing, and over 5 websites to chronicle it. So many people hooked up and looked hot. I even had friends and family come over forty miles and two Rivers from Jersey. Over a hundred playas came, easily. A good plenty claim it was one the greatest evenings in awhile, and that Kickball has made them happier in general. Ya see, it's not your politicians, it's your Athletic Director that hooks u up. I like the role of Cupid, as long as I get to shoot myself in the ass too.

For all those that found love at the big dance, I say Kudos, and I hope you name your aborted kid after me. Thanks to Everyone at the Mark, including Tommy, Kevin, Hans, Smitty and Bobby, and to BA, for working hard all day and night. Where the fuck does she get her energy from?

Let's get into it - we're gonna have an all-star team, and i am in the process of contacting the D.C. league (god, it's just as pretentious to call yourself the "World League" as when baseball calls its title round the "World Series." The only true World League on Earth is Soccer) to see if we can have the "Battle of Philadelphia." I guess the first weekend in October would be a good idea. They outnumber us 8-1, the question is do they have more talent. I was thinking of sending down 2 squads, an A and B team, play all day, and work it out so that every A team win is worth 2 points, and a B-team win gets one. Whichever league has more points at the end of day owns Philly and their respective town. The losers shan't be caught dead in either city. This would so much fun, and as I'm getting back to taking life more seriously, I am recusing myself from the Selection Committee, and trying out myself. I need to find good, impartial people to pick and run the team. If i don't make it then I'll be a coach no doubt. But to all those looking to qualify: it's gonna be hard. Practices will be tough, and stressful. We have to represent the greatest city in our fair country and we can't go down to Philly and get blown out. No Fucking Way.