Hey!
real quick - 2 extra-extra-curricular events to note: first, a bunch of us are meeting on friday at union sqaure for critical mass. email me (fun@broolynkickball.com)to rendezvous. Second: jens's and lola's birthdays are both on saturday. Jens's party is the day event, while lola's is at night: "Kamp Karstensen will be set up on the beach off the boardwalk at W. 12th St., by the water squirtin' frolic inducin' palm tree, across from Wonder Wheel Park, the same locale as Camp Miale, if you were at the Siren Festival." Lola will hold court at "300 Meserole Street.(Between Waterbury and Bogart) Montrose stop on the L train. 10,000 Square ft. Rooftop. 9pm-??? Cash Bar provided (I'm bringing my flask). (Beer and Liquor!) Karaoke with Colin, the King of Karaoke and DJ FLIM FLAM. Then...Dancing till Dawn."
Let's get right to it. Playoffs start 3 Sundays from now. I need to know how many other teams are playing besides the O' Sleeves, Orphans, Daggers, and Los Piratas Mechanicos. If anyone can contact any of the other teams, please do so. No matter what, the Pirates are the #1 seed. If there are more teams coming, be it the Dob Kings, some juxtaposition of former teams, or an impromptu squad, their seeds start at 5 and go down. I imagine the Daggers would be the 2 seed, as they haven't lost many, and I must confer with the Orphans to see who are the 3 and 4 seeds.
I will work out with Jens what exactly the tournament format will be, but know that the 15th is when the post-season begins.
I want every team to email me their playoff roster before the 8th, as to prevent anyone from bringing their cousin Pele to show up for the Finals. I will meet with all the Umps and Captains prior to each game, ensuring fair play and a legit roster. During the playoffs, I will demand that all players not on the field stay in the dugout, as to prevent last week's controversy. The only people allowed outside the dugout are the Umps, the fielders, and the 1st and 3rd base coaches. However, regardless of last week, there will be no instant replay. Too much bullshit.
During the Playoffs, we will still have anyone come play. I can have games in the outfield, and in between official playoff games. Like Washington warned about political parties, I warn about teams discouraging strays to come play. The Barbeque will be aflame. Smoke, drink, and put her in the buck. Encourage the meek to kick a ball on a minor league field.
Attendance is down, and many people have their theory and opinion. Mine is that everybody's reason holds truth: the switch to 4-8 from 6-10, long season, and summer vacationing. But people can still come at 6 if they want; furthermore, no other league seems to claim the field from 8-10, so unofficially speaking, we can play from 4 - 10. Don't bank on someone not coming at 8 though. I'm definitely annoyed with the Parks Department for unnecessarily screwing with our season. Can someone in IT steal them a copy of MS Access or Filemaker Pro? Their database system clearly blows. We didn't have to switch our timeslot, but again, people never were spanked for tardiness. Anyone can come play whenever they want. This is Kickball with drinks, not Gym Class.
See ya Sunday.
real quick - 2 extra-extra-curricular events to note: first, a bunch of us are meeting on friday at union sqaure for critical mass. email me (fun@broolynkickball.com)to rendezvous. Second: jens's and lola's birthdays are both on saturday. Jens's party is the day event, while lola's is at night: "Kamp Karstensen will be set up on the beach off the boardwalk at W. 12th St., by the water squirtin' frolic inducin' palm tree, across from Wonder Wheel Park, the same locale as Camp Miale, if you were at the Siren Festival." Lola will hold court at "300 Meserole Street.(Between Waterbury and Bogart) Montrose stop on the L train. 10,000 Square ft. Rooftop. 9pm-??? Cash Bar provided (I'm bringing my flask). (Beer and Liquor!) Karaoke with Colin, the King of Karaoke and DJ FLIM FLAM. Then...Dancing till Dawn."
Let's get right to it. Playoffs start 3 Sundays from now. I need to know how many other teams are playing besides the O' Sleeves, Orphans, Daggers, and Los Piratas Mechanicos. If anyone can contact any of the other teams, please do so. No matter what, the Pirates are the #1 seed. If there are more teams coming, be it the Dob Kings, some juxtaposition of former teams, or an impromptu squad, their seeds start at 5 and go down. I imagine the Daggers would be the 2 seed, as they haven't lost many, and I must confer with the Orphans to see who are the 3 and 4 seeds.
I will work out with Jens what exactly the tournament format will be, but know that the 15th is when the post-season begins.
I want every team to email me their playoff roster before the 8th, as to prevent anyone from bringing their cousin Pele to show up for the Finals. I will meet with all the Umps and Captains prior to each game, ensuring fair play and a legit roster. During the playoffs, I will demand that all players not on the field stay in the dugout, as to prevent last week's controversy. The only people allowed outside the dugout are the Umps, the fielders, and the 1st and 3rd base coaches. However, regardless of last week, there will be no instant replay. Too much bullshit.
During the Playoffs, we will still have anyone come play. I can have games in the outfield, and in between official playoff games. Like Washington warned about political parties, I warn about teams discouraging strays to come play. The Barbeque will be aflame. Smoke, drink, and put her in the buck. Encourage the meek to kick a ball on a minor league field.
Attendance is down, and many people have their theory and opinion. Mine is that everybody's reason holds truth: the switch to 4-8 from 6-10, long season, and summer vacationing. But people can still come at 6 if they want; furthermore, no other league seems to claim the field from 8-10, so unofficially speaking, we can play from 4 - 10. Don't bank on someone not coming at 8 though. I'm definitely annoyed with the Parks Department for unnecessarily screwing with our season. Can someone in IT steal them a copy of MS Access or Filemaker Pro? Their database system clearly blows. We didn't have to switch our timeslot, but again, people never were spanked for tardiness. Anyone can come play whenever they want. This is Kickball with drinks, not Gym Class.
See ya Sunday.
OPEN ADDRESS TO THOSE THAT WE'VE REPULSED, or at least Think Kickball Blows, Lost Its Way, or Sold Out:
Don't Ya Feel Da Squeeze?
Living about Manhattan all my life, I've never felt the pressure like this. I never thought being next to the World's Greatest Island would feel so intimidating, so belittling. It used to be this cool place to go hang. Now I'm not a bouncy electron, just more like an amoeba.
When we started all this Kickball Bullshit in RedHook, we just wanted to chill, and we did. As with all of Spring's eternal hopes, we dreamed it would be huge and popular come its McCarren April debut, and it has enjoyed many great moments. But many of the people I hoped would be there aren't coming regularly, and not due to questionable umping. People just want to relax, rather than have oggida and remembrances of why they don't like sports in the first place. They want to forget about the rat race.
To all those that flirted with Brooklyn Kickball, and are not regular or returning, let me say, we're concerned. What will it take for you to want to play with us? Do you want a less serious game, to be played on the "card-table", or out in the outfield, sans umpiring? Will the steady presence of the BBQ entice you? Do you want assurance that, if anyone criticizes your error, they'll get a firm fanny-fucking? Should we sing and do a little dance, so we get down Sunday afternoons, evenings, and nights? (ok, no more pop music references...Actually, those are the only effective kinds I know)
Whatever the reason for your absence, we want you to experience escapism from Sunday Blues and indulge yourselves decadently. If ya can't go, ya can't go, but if you ever feel pressure so immense you can't sleep, we'll have Kickball for you. If you hate your job so much you wanna puke, have a burger on us. If you're scared, destitute, or disenfranchised, feel free to kick one out of the Park. The game of Kickball is not so important as its tacit sentiment: come here, we'll provide sanctuary from all that ails ya.
Furthermore, Jens thought that our Tuesday evening "practices" are even more of what we dreamed: a very casual affair, a game may arise, actually should, yet it's more sedate than Valium shot into your tush. If Tuesdays go as they have, we can play there under the lights every week. No other sport league claims the lit field that night.
From Day One (or at least Blog #1), we wanted All To Come Play, be they retarded, crippled, or bearing the name "Braun." Nobody should be intimidated by uniformed teams, hotly debated calls, or violently rawdy cheering and cat-calling from the overflowing dugouts. I don't care if a friggen team of Gilligans (ok, now there's a GREAT team name, with a Great Uniform to boot!), Gary Colemans and Mitch Williamses could school you and your pals, and noone should either. I admit I got caught up in turning the Orangesleeves into a viable team, and I did have fun playing the dick coach (and I hope everyone knew it was schtick). But now, no one can misjudge my intentions. Even if the Pirates start spanking us again, nothing's taking away from my passion for making Kickball the greatest thing to hit Williamsburg/Greenpoint since the Candy Darlings and Sasha Alcott's boobs. Furthermore, anybody getting to know Franz will realize that his drunken leadership of the Pirates is all about taking fun seriously, rather than ruining fun. Get to know many of the teams and you will find friends for life, and, furthermore, I predict I will referee some kickball weddings, albeit shotgun-style. Hey Mr. Sullivan!
Please Come, and Come Again! And to all our dedicated Kickballers, Vigorously Recruit some more cool playaz, and help solidify the spirit of this beautiful sport and nascent league.
Sincerely,
Kevin Dailey
Now, back to page 101 of Five Hundred and Eighty Five pages of old-timey fun.
Don't Ya Feel Da Squeeze?
Living about Manhattan all my life, I've never felt the pressure like this. I never thought being next to the World's Greatest Island would feel so intimidating, so belittling. It used to be this cool place to go hang. Now I'm not a bouncy electron, just more like an amoeba.
When we started all this Kickball Bullshit in RedHook, we just wanted to chill, and we did. As with all of Spring's eternal hopes, we dreamed it would be huge and popular come its McCarren April debut, and it has enjoyed many great moments. But many of the people I hoped would be there aren't coming regularly, and not due to questionable umping. People just want to relax, rather than have oggida and remembrances of why they don't like sports in the first place. They want to forget about the rat race.
To all those that flirted with Brooklyn Kickball, and are not regular or returning, let me say, we're concerned. What will it take for you to want to play with us? Do you want a less serious game, to be played on the "card-table", or out in the outfield, sans umpiring? Will the steady presence of the BBQ entice you? Do you want assurance that, if anyone criticizes your error, they'll get a firm fanny-fucking? Should we sing and do a little dance, so we get down Sunday afternoons, evenings, and nights? (ok, no more pop music references...Actually, those are the only effective kinds I know)
Whatever the reason for your absence, we want you to experience escapism from Sunday Blues and indulge yourselves decadently. If ya can't go, ya can't go, but if you ever feel pressure so immense you can't sleep, we'll have Kickball for you. If you hate your job so much you wanna puke, have a burger on us. If you're scared, destitute, or disenfranchised, feel free to kick one out of the Park. The game of Kickball is not so important as its tacit sentiment: come here, we'll provide sanctuary from all that ails ya.
Furthermore, Jens thought that our Tuesday evening "practices" are even more of what we dreamed: a very casual affair, a game may arise, actually should, yet it's more sedate than Valium shot into your tush. If Tuesdays go as they have, we can play there under the lights every week. No other sport league claims the lit field that night.
From Day One (or at least Blog #1), we wanted All To Come Play, be they retarded, crippled, or bearing the name "Braun." Nobody should be intimidated by uniformed teams, hotly debated calls, or violently rawdy cheering and cat-calling from the overflowing dugouts. I don't care if a friggen team of Gilligans (ok, now there's a GREAT team name, with a Great Uniform to boot!), Gary Colemans and Mitch Williamses could school you and your pals, and noone should either. I admit I got caught up in turning the Orangesleeves into a viable team, and I did have fun playing the dick coach (and I hope everyone knew it was schtick). But now, no one can misjudge my intentions. Even if the Pirates start spanking us again, nothing's taking away from my passion for making Kickball the greatest thing to hit Williamsburg/Greenpoint since the Candy Darlings and Sasha Alcott's boobs. Furthermore, anybody getting to know Franz will realize that his drunken leadership of the Pirates is all about taking fun seriously, rather than ruining fun. Get to know many of the teams and you will find friends for life, and, furthermore, I predict I will referee some kickball weddings, albeit shotgun-style. Hey Mr. Sullivan!
Please Come, and Come Again! And to all our dedicated Kickballers, Vigorously Recruit some more cool playaz, and help solidify the spirit of this beautiful sport and nascent league.
Sincerely,
Kevin Dailey
Now, back to page 101 of Five Hundred and Eighty Five pages of old-timey fun.
There will be no athletically challenged practice this Saturday, due to the Siren fest.
We will resume this next week.
We will resume this next week.
I will address many of the issues later, after I talk to the Parks Department and find out when we are playing. So whether or not a player slides on the blacktop could be a big moot point. I thought their database system would prevent scheduling conflicts, but we have the same time slot on the blacktop as a softball league. Obviously, we could have played from 6-10 last night, but we didn't know that, and we have no guarantee that some other league won't show from 8 - 10. Plus, the permit faxed to me showed an overall different schedule than the on I'd tediously sorted out for over an hour and a half with the Higher Powers.
However, we must play when we get a field. If we get the lights from 6-10, that's ideal. We knew that in February when we got them. But, if we must go from 4-8, dems da breaks. I not going to pamper teams as if they're composed of Dennis Rodman, Michael Jordan, and Anna Kournikova. Attendance was down yesterday? Sure, I'd also like to point out that it was our first ever July game, and people start going away more often and for longer periods of time. The Head-Hunters didn't just saunter in at 6, as they weren't able to play yesterday. There was also confusion about where and when to play. If people just don't want to come at four, that's fine. But if anyone thinks they can just arrive at 6 (or whenever) and get priority treatment, trust me cracka, get to the back of the bus.
Again, as of Monday night, I do not know what our deal is, in spite of all my conversations with the Parks Department. BUT PEOPLE MUST REALIZE THAT 6 - 10 IS GOLD. GOLD THAT MANY PEOPLE MINE AND PINE FOR. THOSE FRICKEN LIGHTS ARE RARE AND DIFFICULT TO OBTAIN. But hey, maybe we'll get 'em anyway.
As for the website, yes, I conquer it needs revamping, so, as Franz states below, please feel free to contact me if you can help. I was never jealous of the Orphans website, but always bewildered. But, I don't think BK's website foreclosed sponsorship. Initially, the most obvious sponsor was Brooklyn Brewery, but they turned me down in February, citing budgetary woes. People promising to help didn't. But-Fuck it, teams managed to sponsor themselves. We've had a great season so far, let's not forget that. BK is in its infancy, and we already have had so much fun, success, and happiness. Sponsors will come, as well as more fields, more nights and room for every borough and Hudson County to represent. In three year's time, we will be an Empire. Quote me on it. Mind you, we have the rights to newyorkkickball.com for reasons other than cybersquatting.
Lastly, NOBODY FUCKING PAID LAST NIGHT! So, every team owes double next week, and they will all pay when they arrive, nice and sober-like. However, I'm offering a $16.99 discount to any team giving me a shirt.
Again, stay tuned.......
However, we must play when we get a field. If we get the lights from 6-10, that's ideal. We knew that in February when we got them. But, if we must go from 4-8, dems da breaks. I not going to pamper teams as if they're composed of Dennis Rodman, Michael Jordan, and Anna Kournikova. Attendance was down yesterday? Sure, I'd also like to point out that it was our first ever July game, and people start going away more often and for longer periods of time. The Head-Hunters didn't just saunter in at 6, as they weren't able to play yesterday. There was also confusion about where and when to play. If people just don't want to come at four, that's fine. But if anyone thinks they can just arrive at 6 (or whenever) and get priority treatment, trust me cracka, get to the back of the bus.
Again, as of Monday night, I do not know what our deal is, in spite of all my conversations with the Parks Department. BUT PEOPLE MUST REALIZE THAT 6 - 10 IS GOLD. GOLD THAT MANY PEOPLE MINE AND PINE FOR. THOSE FRICKEN LIGHTS ARE RARE AND DIFFICULT TO OBTAIN. But hey, maybe we'll get 'em anyway.
As for the website, yes, I conquer it needs revamping, so, as Franz states below, please feel free to contact me if you can help. I was never jealous of the Orphans website, but always bewildered. But, I don't think BK's website foreclosed sponsorship. Initially, the most obvious sponsor was Brooklyn Brewery, but they turned me down in February, citing budgetary woes. People promising to help didn't. But-Fuck it, teams managed to sponsor themselves. We've had a great season so far, let's not forget that. BK is in its infancy, and we already have had so much fun, success, and happiness. Sponsors will come, as well as more fields, more nights and room for every borough and Hudson County to represent. In three year's time, we will be an Empire. Quote me on it. Mind you, we have the rights to newyorkkickball.com for reasons other than cybersquatting.
Lastly, NOBODY FUCKING PAID LAST NIGHT! So, every team owes double next week, and they will all pay when they arrive, nice and sober-like. However, I'm offering a $16.99 discount to any team giving me a shirt.
Again, stay tuned.......
Breathe.
Like Batman, I only show up when I am needed. Though unlike Batman, I drink and curse alot. Though like Batman, I enjoy the occasional tryst with my young ward. I digress...I seen the pirate symbol illuminated in the night sky and here I am to do what I can.
This site looks like it was designed by a retarded 3 year old with brain damage. Look at the clean lines and easy navigation on display at the Orphans (I just want to point out that at first, the "o" in Orphans was not capitalized but, out of respect to those destitute children, I actually went back and capitalized for them...) site, makes me want to actually wade through the information and stuff. Here there is information but, it is so poorly presented and organized, I kinda want to spoon my eyes out each time I visit. The purpose has NOT been served, depsite what our illustrious commish claims...
The league has grown in ebbs and tides but, by no means has it reached the levels it CAN reach. For one, we still ain't got no likka sponsors. And before y'all go bitching about how we ain't gonna get any, let me point out that the league in Seattle is Sponsored by COORS...(Editor's note - Coors sponsors the Baltimore league) word...the silver bullet itself. I'm not saying a nice site will instantly get us a sponsor but, it will certainly go a long way towards it...particularly if presented with the press and crap the league has gotten thus far. I'll be more than willing to spearhead the sponsor push but, I ain't got no web skillz to speak of...
So...OPEN CALL SUCKAZ.
I know many of you cats got crazy Design/Web Skillz. Do any of you fine gentlemen/women have the time and desire to redo this shit site? If so, please drop your info and shiatsu on the commish (fun@brooklynkickball.com). You will be compensated in props, respect from your peers and copious amounts of alcoholic beverages (or if you don't get down with that, just the props and respect...)
The new schedule....ah, yes...where to begin...well, it is certainly about 2 hours fresher than the 2pm start time that people were talking about but, it still kinda blows.
After having gone through the new time yesterday, I can say - with full confidence - no me gusta. Fo' reals now...generally I have some energy but, I don't think that shit kicks in 'til about 6pm. Gotta give the bio-system time to digest and process the SWINE and grease and chicken periods that are consumed prior...and you simply can't rush such a high-tech system...bad things are bound to happen. Does this mean I shall party with less passion and zeal on Saturday, so as to begin my Sunday earlier? Nope. Just means I'll probably show up later.
And here's an idea...food for thought, if you will...what if each team played but one game a week? then, perhaps we could just go from 6-8 and not lose sleep or players (the turn-out this Sunday was kinda weak...).
"if you slide on the blacktop you're out."
Lick my Sweat-Stained Testicles, please.
When did we become such a bunch of bitch-ass punks (or was that punk-ass bitches...)?
If I feel like fucking sliding and removing the first few layers of the epidermis for the benefit of my team, I should be allowed to do so. Just because yer a pussy and you don't want to slide shouldn't prevent others, who have balls (or are extremely stupid or hardcore, etc), from doing what needs to get done in order to secure their team a victory. This is a straight-up milquetoast (read, pussy) rule. I encourage all to protest and defy this rule every single fucking chance you get.
And honestly, I would simply *love* to see some bones get broken in multiple spots and come protruding from skin after the break. That would be sweet. I'd be all up in the grill of the cat with their shinbone coming out of their kneecap, asking them if I could please touch it. Dude! How often do you get the chance to see something like that? It'll be a fine story to tell your kids when warning them of the dangers of playing too rough and for the person it happens to, it will be an excellent story to make the kids respect you and make 'em understand how fresh you were back in the day (and it'll give you a nifty reason to rock that limp...or wheelchair, as the case may be).
Sweetpea, you scallywag. Despite my deep-seeded hatred for you and your kind, I must agree with you on one (or more) point(s). Motherfuckers gots to start rocking better outfits. Now I gotta give respect to the Orphans (once again, damn, what has become of me? All this kowtowing to fuckers with no history (or do they have some...?) or family (I wonder what happened to it?) makes me kinda hate myself for being such a nice motherfucker), those poor bastards got their shirts proper and actually look like a team (a poorly dressed, bottom of the barrel, pick-up team but, still a team...). DUDE. If ORPHANS (these cats have no socks and eat gruel, you dig?!) can get their shit together and have a consistent team uniform, what the fuck is your problem?
OS, you cats have the simplest possible uniform, a shirt with FUCKING ORANGE SLEEVES. Have one of you tools go out, buy a bunch from, like, chinatown or some shit and hand 'em out to the morons that couldn't figure out the "orange" part or the "sleeve" part of the uniform requirement.
DK, you cats had the golden shoe thing, which was cool...what happened? You cats get jacked for your shoes? I thought I saw some of them shits hanging from wires in the middle of intersections in Brooklyn. If the big kids are bothering you, let us know...maybe we'll send some toughs to protect you on the way from your mommy's place to Mcarren. Also, shirts for more of your players wouldn't hurt. I'm sure the Orphans have loot left from the collection boxes that they could spare, if you need it...
COBRA, had a thing going...but now they dead...victims of Piracy, I heard...
HH, Simple and pretty...love the light blue, with that kinda arty design...but yer supposed to be HEADHUNTERS fer chrissake! Where the hell is the fire? you need some motherfuckers in loincloths decapitating people on-field and wearing elaborate head-dresses. Or feathers. or fucking body paint, spears, bows, arrows, human sacrifice...something, anything. otherwise y'all just a name...and there ain't no water in that coconut, if you dig what I'm saying...and I think you do...
So, here's a little jump-off point for youse...educate yourselves (shit is actually quite fascinating...)
headhunters
BD, to create one of your shirts, you need but a shirt and a marker. And not even one of them fancy Sharpie markers, I'm talking about the crap you get in pre-school where there are like 100 thin markers that span every shade of known color. If you need me to rob a pre-school to score you those markers so you can make yer ghetto shirts, let me know. It would be nice if all y'all had 'em.
The other teams, I have no time to degrade right now but, if you are lucky, perhaps later...
Practice seemed to work for the OS. Don't get me wrong, they still suck and are possibly the luckiest bunch of fuckers I've ever had the displeasure of meeting but, they did beat us...and that is quite a feat. Not many of you have the pleasure of having those words escape your lips.
Practice more.
Honestly, it's getting kind of boring whipping all your asses ALL the time. Mercy rules hurt, don't they? We might have to start playing handicapped against other teams, just to make it interesting for us...
And don't take this an Anti-BUSH/USA thing, cuz it's not, my allegiance is to myself and my comfort. I could care less about motherfuckers protesting shit...as long as they don't mess with my program.
Fuck the National Anthem pre-game ceremonies bullshit. Seriously. I fucking HATE to stand. I hate standing when I walk (and you kinda have to do that), so fuck a special standing (that I would actually have to both get up AND sit down for) for a song. fuck that.
If there must be pre-game crap, let's stay away from special dances, (unless they are of the lap variety and given by false breasted, loose women) songs and other lame shit like that (all you lame-ass fuckers are probably thinking "hey, songs and special dances ain't lame!" well, newsflash, Walter Cronkite, they are.). Let's kill some babies, or shoot stuff, or joust, or just blow up a watermelon with some fireworks. Something that represents the BK league, not shit everyone else is doing...
And on that note, it's back to the future for this mechanical pirate...got some babies I have to prevent myself from making...coitus interruptus here I come!
LPM
Like Batman, I only show up when I am needed. Though unlike Batman, I drink and curse alot. Though like Batman, I enjoy the occasional tryst with my young ward. I digress...I seen the pirate symbol illuminated in the night sky and here I am to do what I can.
This site looks like it was designed by a retarded 3 year old with brain damage. Look at the clean lines and easy navigation on display at the Orphans (I just want to point out that at first, the "o" in Orphans was not capitalized but, out of respect to those destitute children, I actually went back and capitalized for them...) site, makes me want to actually wade through the information and stuff. Here there is information but, it is so poorly presented and organized, I kinda want to spoon my eyes out each time I visit. The purpose has NOT been served, depsite what our illustrious commish claims...
The league has grown in ebbs and tides but, by no means has it reached the levels it CAN reach. For one, we still ain't got no likka sponsors. And before y'all go bitching about how we ain't gonna get any, let me point out that the league in Seattle is Sponsored by COORS...(Editor's note - Coors sponsors the Baltimore league) word...the silver bullet itself. I'm not saying a nice site will instantly get us a sponsor but, it will certainly go a long way towards it...particularly if presented with the press and crap the league has gotten thus far. I'll be more than willing to spearhead the sponsor push but, I ain't got no web skillz to speak of...
So...OPEN CALL SUCKAZ.
I know many of you cats got crazy Design/Web Skillz. Do any of you fine gentlemen/women have the time and desire to redo this shit site? If so, please drop your info and shiatsu on the commish (fun@brooklynkickball.com). You will be compensated in props, respect from your peers and copious amounts of alcoholic beverages (or if you don't get down with that, just the props and respect...)
The new schedule....ah, yes...where to begin...well, it is certainly about 2 hours fresher than the 2pm start time that people were talking about but, it still kinda blows.
After having gone through the new time yesterday, I can say - with full confidence - no me gusta. Fo' reals now...generally I have some energy but, I don't think that shit kicks in 'til about 6pm. Gotta give the bio-system time to digest and process the SWINE and grease and chicken periods that are consumed prior...and you simply can't rush such a high-tech system...bad things are bound to happen. Does this mean I shall party with less passion and zeal on Saturday, so as to begin my Sunday earlier? Nope. Just means I'll probably show up later.
And here's an idea...food for thought, if you will...what if each team played but one game a week? then, perhaps we could just go from 6-8 and not lose sleep or players (the turn-out this Sunday was kinda weak...).
"if you slide on the blacktop you're out."
Lick my Sweat-Stained Testicles, please.
When did we become such a bunch of bitch-ass punks (or was that punk-ass bitches...)?
If I feel like fucking sliding and removing the first few layers of the epidermis for the benefit of my team, I should be allowed to do so. Just because yer a pussy and you don't want to slide shouldn't prevent others, who have balls (or are extremely stupid or hardcore, etc), from doing what needs to get done in order to secure their team a victory. This is a straight-up milquetoast (read, pussy) rule. I encourage all to protest and defy this rule every single fucking chance you get.
And honestly, I would simply *love* to see some bones get broken in multiple spots and come protruding from skin after the break. That would be sweet. I'd be all up in the grill of the cat with their shinbone coming out of their kneecap, asking them if I could please touch it. Dude! How often do you get the chance to see something like that? It'll be a fine story to tell your kids when warning them of the dangers of playing too rough and for the person it happens to, it will be an excellent story to make the kids respect you and make 'em understand how fresh you were back in the day (and it'll give you a nifty reason to rock that limp...or wheelchair, as the case may be).
Sweetpea, you scallywag. Despite my deep-seeded hatred for you and your kind, I must agree with you on one (or more) point(s). Motherfuckers gots to start rocking better outfits. Now I gotta give respect to the Orphans (once again, damn, what has become of me? All this kowtowing to fuckers with no history (or do they have some...?) or family (I wonder what happened to it?) makes me kinda hate myself for being such a nice motherfucker), those poor bastards got their shirts proper and actually look like a team (a poorly dressed, bottom of the barrel, pick-up team but, still a team...). DUDE. If ORPHANS (these cats have no socks and eat gruel, you dig?!) can get their shit together and have a consistent team uniform, what the fuck is your problem?
OS, you cats have the simplest possible uniform, a shirt with FUCKING ORANGE SLEEVES. Have one of you tools go out, buy a bunch from, like, chinatown or some shit and hand 'em out to the morons that couldn't figure out the "orange" part or the "sleeve" part of the uniform requirement.
DK, you cats had the golden shoe thing, which was cool...what happened? You cats get jacked for your shoes? I thought I saw some of them shits hanging from wires in the middle of intersections in Brooklyn. If the big kids are bothering you, let us know...maybe we'll send some toughs to protect you on the way from your mommy's place to Mcarren. Also, shirts for more of your players wouldn't hurt. I'm sure the Orphans have loot left from the collection boxes that they could spare, if you need it...
COBRA, had a thing going...but now they dead...victims of Piracy, I heard...
HH, Simple and pretty...love the light blue, with that kinda arty design...but yer supposed to be HEADHUNTERS fer chrissake! Where the hell is the fire? you need some motherfuckers in loincloths decapitating people on-field and wearing elaborate head-dresses. Or feathers. or fucking body paint, spears, bows, arrows, human sacrifice...something, anything. otherwise y'all just a name...and there ain't no water in that coconut, if you dig what I'm saying...and I think you do...
So, here's a little jump-off point for youse...educate yourselves (shit is actually quite fascinating...)
headhunters
BD, to create one of your shirts, you need but a shirt and a marker. And not even one of them fancy Sharpie markers, I'm talking about the crap you get in pre-school where there are like 100 thin markers that span every shade of known color. If you need me to rob a pre-school to score you those markers so you can make yer ghetto shirts, let me know. It would be nice if all y'all had 'em.
The other teams, I have no time to degrade right now but, if you are lucky, perhaps later...
Practice seemed to work for the OS. Don't get me wrong, they still suck and are possibly the luckiest bunch of fuckers I've ever had the displeasure of meeting but, they did beat us...and that is quite a feat. Not many of you have the pleasure of having those words escape your lips.
Practice more.
Honestly, it's getting kind of boring whipping all your asses ALL the time. Mercy rules hurt, don't they? We might have to start playing handicapped against other teams, just to make it interesting for us...
And don't take this an Anti-BUSH/USA thing, cuz it's not, my allegiance is to myself and my comfort. I could care less about motherfuckers protesting shit...as long as they don't mess with my program.
Fuck the National Anthem pre-game ceremonies bullshit. Seriously. I fucking HATE to stand. I hate standing when I walk (and you kinda have to do that), so fuck a special standing (that I would actually have to both get up AND sit down for) for a song. fuck that.
If there must be pre-game crap, let's stay away from special dances, (unless they are of the lap variety and given by false breasted, loose women) songs and other lame shit like that (all you lame-ass fuckers are probably thinking "hey, songs and special dances ain't lame!" well, newsflash, Walter Cronkite, they are.). Let's kill some babies, or shoot stuff, or joust, or just blow up a watermelon with some fireworks. Something that represents the BK league, not shit everyone else is doing...
And on that note, it's back to the future for this mechanical pirate...got some babies I have to prevent myself from making...coitus interruptus here I come!
LPM
That was some good kickball yesterday.
I am going to try and institute some kind of weekly practice for those of us who don't have basic athletic skills but would like to aquire the tools and knowledge to develop them. I'm talking basic building blocks here: kicking, catching, throwing. These won't be typical scrimmage-practices, at least not at first. They will cosist of low-key drills where everyone can learn at their own pace,. I'd like to do this starting on Saturday afternoon, at 2pm. If you'd like to be involved and that time is not good, let me know and we'll try to switch it. If you want to be a better kickball player but aren't learning the basics at the games, this is for you. Contact me if you are interested.
SweetPea
718-576-1275
I am going to try and institute some kind of weekly practice for those of us who don't have basic athletic skills but would like to aquire the tools and knowledge to develop them. I'm talking basic building blocks here: kicking, catching, throwing. These won't be typical scrimmage-practices, at least not at first. They will cosist of low-key drills where everyone can learn at their own pace,. I'd like to do this starting on Saturday afternoon, at 2pm. If you'd like to be involved and that time is not good, let me know and we'll try to switch it. If you want to be a better kickball player but aren't learning the basics at the games, this is for you. Contact me if you are interested.
SweetPea
718-576-1275
Normally, when I write this Bullshit, I am going through a kickball hangover. Now, I am just flat-out fried.
First, I will update the website. It only looks screwy on Macs, and so it will get fixed. Really, though, it's priority none, and the website has served its purpose for this season. What is Paramount is everyone knowing the deal for the new schedule. It's not as easy and Pavlovian as every Sunday night from 6-10, but hey, we'll always have field time, albeit trucated to 2 hours on the grass for 2 hours, just for one month. But we have a new venue: the blacktop across from the Turkey's Nest, on the corner of Bedford and 12th. We'll play on the blacktop for 2 hours, starting at 4, then at 6 we go back to the regular field. AGAIN, the blacktop deal is only for one month, then we get 4 full hours back at the regular main field.
Everyone, be careful on the blacktop. There is no sliding. Anyone thinking about risking it, don't bother: if you slide on the blacktop, you're out. Wear protective knee and elbow pads. Furthermore, it's embarrassing seeing so many injuries: so fucking stretch before and after the game. I've seen more injuries in one Kickball season than in 5 for Ultimate Frisbee, and those cats run constantly.
To All the Teams: start thinking about the playoffs. During the post-season, we will honor the National Anthem. Jens and I will hold tryouts. But, perhaps everyone can conceive of some some good pre-game ceremonies. Write a team song, do a dance, or at least a sporty shimmy. Prance around the field with your team flag. Make bets. Fuck around in a prodcutive way.
Lastly, 4th of July was a blast, (the best fucking rooftop summer party ever!) and thanks to all our Orphan hosts. Almost every team represented: god those are the moments I'm happy we started all this shit. A Public Sorry to Tom for bellyflopping over the bar, and thanks for not kicking my ass. The Mark has been a Cornerstone for Kickball and I could wax on as if Dostoevsky fucked Ralph Macchio about how much I love and appreciate all the good times over on Manhattan and Green.
First, I will update the website. It only looks screwy on Macs, and so it will get fixed. Really, though, it's priority none, and the website has served its purpose for this season. What is Paramount is everyone knowing the deal for the new schedule. It's not as easy and Pavlovian as every Sunday night from 6-10, but hey, we'll always have field time, albeit trucated to 2 hours on the grass for 2 hours, just for one month. But we have a new venue: the blacktop across from the Turkey's Nest, on the corner of Bedford and 12th. We'll play on the blacktop for 2 hours, starting at 4, then at 6 we go back to the regular field. AGAIN, the blacktop deal is only for one month, then we get 4 full hours back at the regular main field.
Everyone, be careful on the blacktop. There is no sliding. Anyone thinking about risking it, don't bother: if you slide on the blacktop, you're out. Wear protective knee and elbow pads. Furthermore, it's embarrassing seeing so many injuries: so fucking stretch before and after the game. I've seen more injuries in one Kickball season than in 5 for Ultimate Frisbee, and those cats run constantly.
To All the Teams: start thinking about the playoffs. During the post-season, we will honor the National Anthem. Jens and I will hold tryouts. But, perhaps everyone can conceive of some some good pre-game ceremonies. Write a team song, do a dance, or at least a sporty shimmy. Prance around the field with your team flag. Make bets. Fuck around in a prodcutive way.
Lastly, 4th of July was a blast, (the best fucking rooftop summer party ever!) and thanks to all our Orphan hosts. Almost every team represented: god those are the moments I'm happy we started all this shit. A Public Sorry to Tom for bellyflopping over the bar, and thanks for not kicking my ass. The Mark has been a Cornerstone for Kickball and I could wax on as if Dostoevsky fucked Ralph Macchio about how much I love and appreciate all the good times over on Manhattan and Green.
I wanted to get this down while I remember it all:
ASPHALT KICKBALL
I've been hearing complaints about the neccesity of playing some of our games on hardtop with the oncoming time-switching and all. While this obviously come with its own set of limitations (like no sliding), I think we need to look at this in a different way: first, let's not forget that in school we'd play kickball on the macaddam. As adult sports go I think a good comparison is tennis: sometimes you play on clay, sometimes on grass (anyone who knows me knows that I like doing things on grass).
1. Stretch before you play on hardtop. We aren't 16 anymore (most of us, physically at least). SEE NURSE BETSY.
2. Wear running shoes/sneakers that supply some support and springy bounce.
3. Long pants?
BROOKLYN KICKBALL ASTHETICS
1. I hereby call on the Orphans to help make a better website for Brooklyn Kickball. The site is now too ghetto for what has become such a splendid league, it looks like my mom made it with an old version of pagemaker. Nothing too fancy or time-consuming, lets just make it *nice.* I'll meet y'all whenever/wherever.
2. On the same note, its time we get our pictures together. Website photos first, trading cards next. Someone who knows something about something, get/bring a digital camera. Holla!
3. Orangesleeves, its great to be ragtag, its sooo rougue-ish of us, I know. But lets get it together just a teeny bit. Sweet Pete, the Dob Kings have better uniforms than us. The pirates manage to have a uniform look without wearing identical uniforms. Granted, they probably borrowed a few pieces from their little sister's goth outfits, but lets face it, they showed up on day one looking ready to play ball, or at least hoisten the mains'l or whatever.
JULY 5 KICKBALL AGAINST BUSH
It looks like the jeep's broke down, but I am still going to try to get a car and give people rides from GP/WB. But if not, we should still split cabs, use P.T., whatever it takes. We should do this, despite hangovers, its important for a lot of reasons.
Thanks for reading
SweetPea
ASPHALT KICKBALL
I've been hearing complaints about the neccesity of playing some of our games on hardtop with the oncoming time-switching and all. While this obviously come with its own set of limitations (like no sliding), I think we need to look at this in a different way: first, let's not forget that in school we'd play kickball on the macaddam. As adult sports go I think a good comparison is tennis: sometimes you play on clay, sometimes on grass (anyone who knows me knows that I like doing things on grass).
1. Stretch before you play on hardtop. We aren't 16 anymore (most of us, physically at least). SEE NURSE BETSY.
2. Wear running shoes/sneakers that supply some support and springy bounce.
3. Long pants?
BROOKLYN KICKBALL ASTHETICS
1. I hereby call on the Orphans to help make a better website for Brooklyn Kickball. The site is now too ghetto for what has become such a splendid league, it looks like my mom made it with an old version of pagemaker. Nothing too fancy or time-consuming, lets just make it *nice.* I'll meet y'all whenever/wherever.
2. On the same note, its time we get our pictures together. Website photos first, trading cards next. Someone who knows something about something, get/bring a digital camera. Holla!
3. Orangesleeves, its great to be ragtag, its sooo rougue-ish of us, I know. But lets get it together just a teeny bit. Sweet Pete, the Dob Kings have better uniforms than us. The pirates manage to have a uniform look without wearing identical uniforms. Granted, they probably borrowed a few pieces from their little sister's goth outfits, but lets face it, they showed up on day one looking ready to play ball, or at least hoisten the mains'l or whatever.
JULY 5 KICKBALL AGAINST BUSH
It looks like the jeep's broke down, but I am still going to try to get a car and give people rides from GP/WB. But if not, we should still split cabs, use P.T., whatever it takes. We should do this, despite hangovers, its important for a lot of reasons.
Thanks for reading
SweetPea
Many cities have shown interest in playing in our 3rd annual tournament. What is the format? Well, that depends on the amount of teams. What we know for sure that this will be a rocking day, with many musical performances representing many genres. We also know there is no cost. Furthermore, we ask all Brooklyn players to help out and let our travlin' guests stay at their place:
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