Dear All,
Sunday was great for me, and I hope you liked the whiskey. If all of y’all scope out da 5-Oh! for me, I guarantee Sr. Daniels will be readily available.
Yes, we failed the stragglers again; yes we didn’t have our elaborate system in place. What is the System?
Jens just created it, and if you do not know him, know that He Rules.
This is our System for How Signups and Team Standings Will Work. It’s Officially LAW (remember, you don’t have to be on a team to play. Sheri will sign up stragglers and arrange new pickup teams every week. Do what u please):
The First team to submit to Sheri (whose station is at the fence along the 3rd base Line):
A) $30
2) a line-up, including 2 names circled for umpiring duties
Is "Team #1." The 2nd team is "Team #2" and so forth.
Then matchups proceed accordingly:
Team 1 v. Team 2 on the Main Field, 1st game
Team 3 v. Team 4 on the Main Field, 2nd game
Team 5 v. Team 6 at the Red Monster, 1st game
Team 7 v. Team 8 at the Red Monster, 2nd game
The WINNER of each game plays their 2nd game on the MAIN field. The LOSER of each game plays their 2nd game at the RED MONSTER.
If there are more than 8 teams in a given week, then just wing it for teams 9 on.
Don’t worry, the Red Monster will be set up right, and we’ll arrange the bases so they are well away from the Main Field, and so that good Kickers can hit the Monster. It’s a great brand of ball.
After each team has played two games, this is usually when people / teams wander or are too drunk to comprehend anything, so we should just allow things at this point to devolve into the weekly free-for-all we all truly love. As long as each paying team gets two good games in, i think we can all say "job well done."
4 points awarded for win
2 points awarded for tie
1 point awarded for loss (that’s right, if you play, you are rewarded)
Thereby, a team with 8 wins and 12 losses having 44 points, and the team with 3 wins and 2 loses having
14 points. Only the first two games a team plays each week count in the standings.
Now this comes from me, and only me, Kevin Dailey, former Commish of BK and current Co-Conspirator with BA, Franz, and Jens:
UMPIRING: It’s difficult to dictate exactly where umps should be and when. Given that every Sunday is different, and we could have an odd number of teams on one night, while inclement weather could limit turnout, we can’t strictly assign umpiring duties. But know this: if your name is circled for umpiring, and you’re not playing a game, you had better find somewhere to Ump, or just Eject Yourself from McCarren that night. We should have 2 Umps a game as a minimum, and 4 would be sweet. It’s not tough to see if a game is lacking some. Furthermore, you should ump as much as you kick. We will tolerate umpiring errors (shit, people could dis me all day on that), but we will not abide indifference to fair play. I hate to sound like David Stern. Trust me, I despise that suspension-happy jerkoff, and I hope he dies of cum cancer what he did to the Knicks in ‘97
But, I can’t and won’t have teams complaining to me about lack of umps, and claiming that the games are somehow illegitimate. For all the Hoopla around our Beloved Games (I swear, I think Franz will accidentally kill someone with his sword someday, and then we’re all goin’ down, and not in the fun way), we do want the games themselves to be real, and real smooth.
To that end, get to know the fucking rules. They are easy.
I am going to make Umpiring Fun (no, this is not some Tom Sawyer bullshit). Every inning, the umpires will rotate their positions. As we are a social league, it’s good for umps to chat it up with the different teams. Perhaps the third base side is drinking whiskey, while over at first, someone is rolling a J. The Barbeque will stand behind home, so, if we have 4 umps, then that ump gets to be near the grillin’.
I will talk to my fellow Directors about whether or not Umps can eject someone from a game. I think they should if someone is violating either of these two rules:
“Trash Talk is Allowed if Clever or Witty, but NEVER Trite or Violent.” That’s Trite OR Violent, being either one should jeopardize an abuser of this Rule. It’s high time we enforced it. No need to rub your eyes, you should hit the showers if you’re trite. Go read a book. And if you’re violent with words, well, go hit the ‘Nest, but just don’t expect $1 Beers or any kind of Love.
And it should be a given, but
PLAY NICE, OR ELSE, MUTHERFUCKERS!
PLAY GOOD BALL IN ’05.
Don’t worry; there’ll probably be about 10 Billion more emails before this week is through. Stay tuned for Saturday and Sunday Night Party Info.
Much Love, and here’s a great spring dance song from the SOS Band,
Kevin Dailey
Sunday was great for me, and I hope you liked the whiskey. If all of y’all scope out da 5-Oh! for me, I guarantee Sr. Daniels will be readily available.
Yes, we failed the stragglers again; yes we didn’t have our elaborate system in place. What is the System?
Jens just created it, and if you do not know him, know that He Rules.
This is our System for How Signups and Team Standings Will Work. It’s Officially LAW (remember, you don’t have to be on a team to play. Sheri will sign up stragglers and arrange new pickup teams every week. Do what u please):
The First team to submit to Sheri (whose station is at the fence along the 3rd base Line):
A) $30
2) a line-up, including 2 names circled for umpiring duties
Is "Team #1." The 2nd team is "Team #2" and so forth.
Then matchups proceed accordingly:
Team 1 v. Team 2 on the Main Field, 1st game
Team 3 v. Team 4 on the Main Field, 2nd game
Team 5 v. Team 6 at the Red Monster, 1st game
Team 7 v. Team 8 at the Red Monster, 2nd game
The WINNER of each game plays their 2nd game on the MAIN field. The LOSER of each game plays their 2nd game at the RED MONSTER.
If there are more than 8 teams in a given week, then just wing it for teams 9 on.
Don’t worry, the Red Monster will be set up right, and we’ll arrange the bases so they are well away from the Main Field, and so that good Kickers can hit the Monster. It’s a great brand of ball.
After each team has played two games, this is usually when people / teams wander or are too drunk to comprehend anything, so we should just allow things at this point to devolve into the weekly free-for-all we all truly love. As long as each paying team gets two good games in, i think we can all say "job well done."
4 points awarded for win
2 points awarded for tie
1 point awarded for loss (that’s right, if you play, you are rewarded)
Thereby, a team with 8 wins and 12 losses having 44 points, and the team with 3 wins and 2 loses having
14 points. Only the first two games a team plays each week count in the standings.
Now this comes from me, and only me, Kevin Dailey, former Commish of BK and current Co-Conspirator with BA, Franz, and Jens:
UMPIRING: It’s difficult to dictate exactly where umps should be and when. Given that every Sunday is different, and we could have an odd number of teams on one night, while inclement weather could limit turnout, we can’t strictly assign umpiring duties. But know this: if your name is circled for umpiring, and you’re not playing a game, you had better find somewhere to Ump, or just Eject Yourself from McCarren that night. We should have 2 Umps a game as a minimum, and 4 would be sweet. It’s not tough to see if a game is lacking some. Furthermore, you should ump as much as you kick. We will tolerate umpiring errors (shit, people could dis me all day on that), but we will not abide indifference to fair play. I hate to sound like David Stern. Trust me, I despise that suspension-happy jerkoff, and I hope he dies of cum cancer what he did to the Knicks in ‘97
But, I can’t and won’t have teams complaining to me about lack of umps, and claiming that the games are somehow illegitimate. For all the Hoopla around our Beloved Games (I swear, I think Franz will accidentally kill someone with his sword someday, and then we’re all goin’ down, and not in the fun way), we do want the games themselves to be real, and real smooth.
To that end, get to know the fucking rules. They are easy.
I am going to make Umpiring Fun (no, this is not some Tom Sawyer bullshit). Every inning, the umpires will rotate their positions. As we are a social league, it’s good for umps to chat it up with the different teams. Perhaps the third base side is drinking whiskey, while over at first, someone is rolling a J. The Barbeque will stand behind home, so, if we have 4 umps, then that ump gets to be near the grillin’.
I will talk to my fellow Directors about whether or not Umps can eject someone from a game. I think they should if someone is violating either of these two rules:
“Trash Talk is Allowed if Clever or Witty, but NEVER Trite or Violent.” That’s Trite OR Violent, being either one should jeopardize an abuser of this Rule. It’s high time we enforced it. No need to rub your eyes, you should hit the showers if you’re trite. Go read a book. And if you’re violent with words, well, go hit the ‘Nest, but just don’t expect $1 Beers or any kind of Love.
And it should be a given, but
PLAY NICE, OR ELSE, MUTHERFUCKERS!
PLAY GOOD BALL IN ’05.
Don’t worry; there’ll probably be about 10 Billion more emails before this week is through. Stay tuned for Saturday and Sunday Night Party Info.
Much Love, and here’s a great spring dance song from the SOS Band,
Kevin Dailey
We just got word from the Parks Department that we have the lights until 11 pm. 'Nuf said, but enjoy the 20% increase in decadence and debauchery.
Opening Day went extremely well, but it wasn't good enough. Obviously the turnout couldn't have been much better. I *loved* seeing many old faces, and the new ones, such as the Tigers and the Kings of New York.
But we, the Directors of Brooklyn Kickball, failed the stragglers to some degree. Only my closest friends knew about the straggler policy, and the one random team did consist mainly of them. So to be redundant,
But we, the Directors of Brooklyn Kickball, failed the stragglers to some degree. Only my closest friends knew about the straggler policy, and the one random team did consist mainly of them. So to be redundant,
ALL COME PLAY!
(and you do not have to be on an established team)
We don't care if you can't kick, throw or catch! Sure, athletic ability helps, but this is not the NBA. This is a get together...a happening...a way to enjoy Sunday evenings rather than slit your wrists when the 60 Minutes' timer starts ticking.
There will be a big banner propped along the 3rd base line, exclaiming:
WANNA PLAY?
That's where our loyal friend, Sheri Barclay, will have a table and sign up everyone, both stragglers and teams. Yes, we want to pay her because she is responsible for making sure that Kickball is True and Fair to All.
Finally, enjoy this great Spring song ("Spring" shouldn't be capitalized, but fuck it), from Janet Jackson's 1990 Rhythm Nation.
The current forecast for sunday is: 74 friggin degrees!!!!!
Last saturday we had an impromptu pre-pre-season pick-up game in McCarren park and I'm hoping it set the tone for the rest of the season. It was great to see familiar faces representing teams across the BKKB board. We had so much fun on the field, we continued the party at the pencil factory, then savalis, then into the bowels of south williamsburg for a rubulad party.
Speaking of songs, the one that's been permeating my brain is "Perfect Day" by Lou Reed. In fact I posted my own rendition on My myspace blog.
I'm a retard.
Anyway, if you guys want to start partying even earlier for this Sunday's festivities, VAG on the TURNTABLES will be spinning at the Mark Bar Saturday night starting at 11. It's free and kickballers have a tendency to represent. If not, then I'll see y'all at 4 on sunday.
Start stretching. It took me 4 days to inhale without aching.
word booty
B.A
Last saturday we had an impromptu pre-pre-season pick-up game in McCarren park and I'm hoping it set the tone for the rest of the season. It was great to see familiar faces representing teams across the BKKB board. We had so much fun on the field, we continued the party at the pencil factory, then savalis, then into the bowels of south williamsburg for a rubulad party.
Speaking of songs, the one that's been permeating my brain is "Perfect Day" by Lou Reed. In fact I posted my own rendition on My myspace blog.
I'm a retard.
Anyway, if you guys want to start partying even earlier for this Sunday's festivities, VAG on the TURNTABLES will be spinning at the Mark Bar Saturday night starting at 11. It's free and kickballers have a tendency to represent. If not, then I'll see y'all at 4 on sunday.
Start stretching. It took me 4 days to inhale without aching.
word booty
B.A
Since I've listened to this song a billion times in the last fortnight, I guess it's my Spring Offering (every link below will download either of 2 songs. Both represent spring to me, but Crowded House is on my brain):
Things ain't cookin' in my kitchen,
Strange afflictions wash over me.
Julius Caesar and the Roman Empire,
Couldn't conquer the Blue Sky!
"Walking 'round the room singing Stormy Weather,
at Fifty-Seven Mount Pleasant Street,
Now it's the same room, but everything's different.
You can fight the sleep, but not the dream.
at Fifty-Seven Mount Pleasant Street,
Now it's the same room, but everything's different.
You can fight the sleep, but not the dream.
Things ain't cookin' in my kitchen,
Strange afflictions wash over me.
Julius Caesar and the Roman Empire,
Couldn't conquer the Blue Sky!
Going Nowhere on the mantlepiece.
Do I lie like a loungeroom lizard,
Or do I Sing like a Bird Released?
Everywhere you go, you always take the weather with you."
Do I lie like a loungeroom lizard,
Or do I Sing like a Bird Released?
Everywhere you go, you always take the weather with you."
-Crowded House, "Weather With You," from 1991's Woodface.
What we give is what we get. I hope 2005 is the greatest season of my life. I vow to be true and to be committed to everyone's Sunday Night Joy. Call me on it anytime you want.
What we give is what we get. I hope 2005 is the greatest season of my life. I vow to be true and to be committed to everyone's Sunday Night Joy. Call me on it anytime you want.
Opening Day 2005 is Sunday, April 17th!
We normally start at 6 pm, but on the 17th, come to the Turkey's Nest at 4 for a little pre-game social. From 4-6, we'll drink some $1 Rheingolds, get our teams in order, and then we'll go to the field and play ball from 6 'til 10.
To all the teams - please get ahold of us NOW! We would like to have some order for Opening Day, and want to know in advance about your team. REMEMBER, You DON"T have to be on a team to play. Every week, we will organize a squad of stragglers.
The 17th will be like Spring Training, and teams' play will not be official towards the seedings in the playoffs. But come May 1st, everything's recorded, and we're working on getting stats and analysis for every player, straggler and teammate alike.
May 1st is a big day as it's gonna be rocked out with DJs and dancin'. More details to come, but it's gonna be a great May Day Party!
Hope to see many familiar faces, and new ones. More Opening Day Sappy Sentiment later, but for now, dat's da dealio.
There has been alotta chatter about k-ball on MySpace lately (Jens' brilliant gem). Shockamania needs girls, and the ever-fanciful Shannon Sinclair is recruiting them. The World Champs, The Orangesleeves, are reforming, with many of its 1.2 billion members returning (though there is lome loss. I think the Sleeves fielded over 50 people in 2004). And...to no one's surprise, Los Piratas Mechanicos claim they won the title within a different reality, possibly in Franz's liquored up one.
But the news forcing me to rub one out is that Michele, of Playgirl Infamy, is starting a cheerleading squad, and to that i say, Bring It On! (I saw that movie during a matinee with only one other person, a woman, in the theatre. She wouldn't engage.)
Here is Michele's post from MySpace:
Subject: Pussies Wanted...
Body:...to cheer for Brooklyn Kickball. The Official Brooklyn Kickball Cheerleading squad is making formations now. High kicks, fancy spankies, pom poms, flyers, bases, yelling from your diaphragm, synchronized movements, and all the moves I wasn't allowed to do on my high school squad. Dicks accepted, but only so us ladies can stand on your shoulders, so be strong. Message me or just show up for pre-season.SUNDAY APRIL 17thTurkey's Nest (Bedford Ave. at N. 12th St) 4pm SUNDAY, MAY 1st is OPENING DAYBe Excited! B-E Excited!
But the news forcing me to rub one out is that Michele, of Playgirl Infamy, is starting a cheerleading squad, and to that i say, Bring It On! (I saw that movie during a matinee with only one other person, a woman, in the theatre. She wouldn't engage.)
Here is Michele's post from MySpace:
Subject: Pussies Wanted...
Body:...to cheer for Brooklyn Kickball. The Official Brooklyn Kickball Cheerleading squad is making formations now. High kicks, fancy spankies, pom poms, flyers, bases, yelling from your diaphragm, synchronized movements, and all the moves I wasn't allowed to do on my high school squad. Dicks accepted, but only so us ladies can stand on your shoulders, so be strong. Message me or just show up for pre-season.SUNDAY APRIL 17thTurkey's Nest (Bedford Ave. at N. 12th St) 4pm SUNDAY, MAY 1st is OPENING DAYBe Excited! B-E Excited!
Many cities have shown interest in playing in our 3rd annual tournament. What is the format? Well, that depends on the amount of teams. What we know for sure that this will be a rocking day, with many musical performances representing many genres. We also know there is no cost. Furthermore, we ask all Brooklyn players to help out and let our travlin' guests stay at their place:
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