Alas, for now, only the Sleeves will know what's it's like to beat a team captained by last year's MVP, Jesse "Sportz" Alexander. He has always been the utmost gentleman throughout 2 seasons, even when an Otter cheaply and wrongly kicked him in the back. He's tough, cool, smart, and a super-nice guy. I wish his brother Ben would be more like him. To prove how magnanimous he is, I must disclose this email he sent me the day after last year's Finals.

That note says it all about the guy, and as a Commissioner, gestures like that make everything worth while. A lot of people should take lessons from this man on how to become, and act like, a Champ. No one more than he and his team deserved to win it, and I should have known he'd return happily yet vengefully in 2005, basically kicking everyone's ass almost the whole season. From the '55 Brooklyn Dodgers, to John McEnroe of 1981, to 04's Red Sox, resiliency makes Champions cooler.

But I don't want to take away from the rest of the team. His brother Ben is a scrapper, and is also one of the best all-around players in Kickball. Neil was very reliable at third, and Whino always seemed to be involved in every play. I coulda been drunk though. I am happy for Chewy that she went from worst to first. Good for you, my Duchess. To the rest of you, I honestly didn't get to know you that well, but my praise is sincere. You need at least 10 people on a team, and you scored alot of runs, mercy-ruled (Burninated?) almost all of us, and you didn't have alot of errors or baserunning blunders. That's the stuff Champs are made of.

Congratulations, Burninators, our Champions. You were the favorite, yet were taken to task, and remained triumphant.

"Welcome to your life. There's no turning back." - Tears for Fears. Or, one could extend that to mean: welcome to the climax of 2005's season.

"This is Pathetic!" - Chiara Sullivan.

I needed to see them because we very well could be eliminated tomorrow night, and I love this crew so much. I want them to know that, they do, and I will always do anything for them. I never took them for granted, and each one has their own beautiful traits. Yes, we all have flaws, and life on the Sleeves this season has been far from perfect. We are still together; however, I guess it's fair to ask, for how long? I wondered even before this season started if there would be an Orangesleeves. It's very hard to recreate what we did last year. For me, last year's ending was the first time in my life that a longshot hope came true. To boot, I got to be on a team with some of the greatest people you will ever meet. Unfortunately though, all of us went through varying degrees of burnout, and some of us encountered and/or created some serious drama (yours truly being a major offender).

"There's a room where the light won't find you,
Holding hands while the walls come tumbling down.
When they do, I'll be right behind you."

- my feelings about the Sleeves right now, and forevermore.

Still, the core of 2004's squad will take the field tomorrow night, and that's all i can ask of them, and of life. That's what keeps me going through the week, knowing I will be their teammate. It's such a great fucking honor, especially when we have our A-Game. But all I need is their company and companionship. If you got this close to these guys, you'd feel the same way. There is not a better bunch of Kickies than us.

I don't want to take away from people from the other teams, and there are too many to list. I am very happy with the ways things turned out, despite some unnecessary and infuriating episodes. "It's just a game," people claim, but usually only when convenient. Most times, people are really into the game and are serious about their Kickball escape. There is no better event in this City. I'd like to know: what can you do in a club that you can't do at Kickball? Actually, we enjoy more freedom at McCarren than you can anywhere else. That's the truth. The cops know what we do, and they don't care. Why? Because I bribe them.

"Help Me Make the Most of Freedom, and of Pleasure,

Nothing Ever Lasts Forever"

Seriously, the reason why the cops don't fuck with us is because they understand that what we are doing is cool, unique, and special. Also, we don't fuck with them, and they like checkin' out the girlies. If anyone can find something better to do on a Sunday night, let me know, 'cause I will be there too.

As I reveal last night's Kickies discussion, remember that I am appreciative and I am humble. In the end, you guys, the players, make this league. T here is not a high amount of boring Kickball people. We've got a serious juxtaposition of loonies. I've extremely enjoyed your company, and I hope you feel the same.

MVP:

Commish: Funderburgh. He's the toughest out in Kickball, with great juke moves on the base paths. His fieilding is also way above average.

Ben: Dan as well. I dread him the most when he comes up to the plate.

Chi: Liz for girls.

Commish: Emma, from the Tigers. I've seen her catch deep line drives in the outfield, and she kicks deeply as well.

Matt: MVP is a tough call.

Best Fielder:

Commish: Obviously, I'm supposed to say Jesse Sullivan, but his drinking got too much in the way. Funderburgh was more consistent in the field, and I like Eben, the 3rd baseman from Shockamania. However, there's no denying Jesse has the best arm and range in the game.

Ben: Kareem from the Daggers has the best arm. But, I'd give that award to Sportz. He's very heads-up, and rarely makes an error. If Jesse weren't drunk all the time, it'd be he.

Chi: Jesse.

Jesse: Me

Matt: Eben

Best Coach:

Commish: Moss

Ben: Moss

Chi: Matt!

Matt: Me

Best Base Runners:

Chi/Ben: Jesse is the best and the worst. But we conclude with him.

Commish: Dan Funderburgh. He is our white Rickey Henderson.

Best Ump:

Chi/Ben/Jesse: Randall. No question, says Chi, and Ben claims he sticks to his decisions.

Commish: Me. I have the best knowledge of the game, and I have elevated peoples' understanding of it.

Matt: Yes, the Commish rules.

Best Team Uniform:

Jesse: The Vettes, cause the modeled their uniforms after Chi.

Ben: I hate to admit it, but the Vettes.

Commish: The Daggers, only because of Moss's jumpsuit, and Nicky's skirts.

Matt: Vettes

Best Kickers:

Chi: Ben, and Courtney: she consistently kicks precicely down the line and gets on.

Commish: Ben. He is "O.B. muthafuckin' P." He's only gotten out once on the playoffs. I think Emma is the best female kicker.

Matt: (still complaining about last week's calls): Sportz

Best Trash Talkers:

Commish: Do we have those this year?

Jesse: Me. I made the Sugartits cry, and i got into a fight with all of them.

Ben: Lance. He's comical.

Matt: Lance as well.

(Jesse just left to go work at Savalis, kind of a hip new scene. For me, it's too loud and too crowded, and I think they put crack in the whiskey. I went on to grab Jesse Sullivan's ass too deeply, and i think my digits slipped in too far, and he doesn't wear underwear. He was grossed out and very annoyed, so i said I was sorry, and I hope he's not all butt-hurt today.)

Best Dressed Players:

Commish: I will always think Chi is best-dressed. She drops the most jaws, is the most daring and the most fashionable. Now, again, I love Nicole's skirts, adore Deann's white shorts, and Shannon's blue shorts and long socks, BUT...

Chi: Hmmmmm....Deann

Matt (obligingly): Chi but i like the way the Vettes dress as well.

Biggest Flirts:

Chi: Boy - Randall, maybe Nipple. Girl - Lara.

Commish: Girl - Nicole Hurstell. Boy - I don't flirt with them, but I think i flirt alot.

Matty Shockamania: Nicole or Lara.

Best Pitcher:

Commish: Why do we even have this award? Clearly, it's meant to pick a hottie. You got Nicole, Deann, Lo-Ren (and i am so excited to see her reclaim the mound for the Pirates), Chi, Lara, Sheri , Chrissie Otter, and Shannon, but we all conquer that Sal from the Tigers is the best pitcher. He plays the field well and he puts some mustard on the ball. Sheri couldn't put any force on it if you roided her up all season long. But I hope Nicky wins anyway, 'cause my heart stops when she rolls.

Favorite Team:

Commish: Orphans, and the for the record, if I could pick my own team, I wouldn't. Oh, I hate everyone else too, especially Moss.

(this is causing some debate, and Chi is guilt-tripping Matt):

Matt: The Daggers

(we could not get resolution)

Favorite Player:

Chi (geting pissy now): My favorite player is Ben.

Commish: Ben

Ben: Ya know who i get excited to see more than anyone else, Kevin Landweir.

Matt: Emma from the Tigers

Easiest on the Eyes:

Commish: Let's be serious. It's Chi and Moss. Don't get me wrong, I think there are so many cuties out there. You know who you are. But everyone knows that I am always going to pull for Chi. I can't help it.

And the way this category is phrased this year, I don't need to change it to "Most Inner Beauty!"

Chi: Matt and Courtney

Matt: Chi and.......Moss or Justin (his shocka teammate)

Ben: Rebecca and Justin

Most Athletic:

Ben: Sports , and I believe Rebecca may be the most athletic girl I've ever met. People from 2 leagues know her to be the most athletic girl there.

Chi: Will from Shockamania, and Liz

Commish: I agree with Ben. Sports and Rebecca

Matt: Will and Chi.

Most Moxie:

Commish: I don't give a flying fuck.

Chi: Orangesleeves. We got Jens and Courtney, two of the moxiest kids.

Matt: I don't think this should be a team award

Ben: What?

Attention Players:

We will post the Playoff Schedule very soon, but know that it starts Sunday, September 11th. You'll have plenty of notice about when to show up.

Furthermore, to build up the Playoff Heat, here comes da Big Dance: