Requisites: Two legs (or prosthetics) and a Positive Attitude.

Most Baseball Rules apply, with these Amendments:

  • We Frown Upon Bunting, so Hunt the Bunt! This is Kickball, right? Therefore, if the catcher, unassisted, can clutch a ground ball before the kicker reaches first, the call is a strike and the play is dead. Before the ball is kicked, the catcher must be behind the kicker, though can take a running start. The catcher may never interfere with the kicker. Should the catcher impede or interfere with the kicker or his/her approach to First Base, the kicker takes first base automatically.

  • As there are no called balls and strikes, Pitch Smoothly, Forcefully, and in Good Faith, like you were bowling.
  • On a close play at home, the runner must slide, and the catcher should consider moving slightly out of the base path, as fielders can peg the runners out. On a force play at home, the catcher should place her foot right on the edge of the plate and pivot towards the incoming ball.
  • There are Maximum 10 players in the field. Minimum of Four (4) Women, 5 if it's Hot! Furthermore, 4 out of the first 10 kickers in the lineup must be women. Lastly, no team is allowed to play short-handed. Get a free agent if need be.
  • 5 inning games with the 10 run mercy rule in effect. No Last Licks for "Burninated" teams past the 2nd Inning.
  • Once the ball is back on the pitcher's mound, and in control by anyone on the fielding team, the play is over, unless a runner is more than One-Third of the way down the respective base path. Note to Base Runners: be cool about this. Also, runners are entitled to tag if a pop or fly ball goes directly to the pitcher.
  • A foul ball with 2 strikes is an out.
  • There will be an arced foul line a few feet above the home plate. If the kicker engages the ball past this line it will be ruled a foul ball. This ball will be treated as a foul in that if it is caught, the kicker is out. If dropped, the play is dead. At this point any runners on base can tag up and advance at their own risk.
  • We allow players to go out of the game and come back in. However, always maintain your kicking order. Kicking out of order is an out. We provide you with roster sheets to make it easy on you.
  • Every team must provide an umpire for every game it plays.
  • No one can play for multiple teams. Teams can find free agents here. The only exception is if there is crappy weather.
  • Trash talk is allowed if clever or witty, but never trite or violent. Otherwise, take a powder.
  • Our baselines are 75 feet long.
  • No leading off or stealing. If an umpire sees someone leading or stealing, then he/she calls the play dead, the kicker is assigned a strike, regardless if someone just kicked one to the moon.
  • Only One Base for an overthrow going out of bounds. When there is an overthrow at 1st, 3rd or home on the Monster or Outhouse, all runners get only one base and the play is dead.
  • "Indian Rubber," or pegging the runner with the ball, is allowed, though headshots are discouraged. Once the ball hits a runner, the runner is out, but the BALL is LIVE! However, a pegged runner cannot intentionally obstruct the ball.
  • Yes, we allow Ties during the regular season. In Japan, the fans love 'em.

If we forgot anything, we'll adapt as needed.

PLAY NICE, OR ELSE, MOTHERFUCKER.

Popular Myths, Debunked

  • No, a foul pop-up does not become fair if the fielder drops it.
  • A runner can tag-up on a pop-fly as soon as the fielder touches the ball, so it doesn't matter if the fielder bobbles the ball or not.

Advice

  • Try to eat something before you drink all night in the sweltering heat.
  • Wear pants if you foresee yourself sliding.
  • Don't be seen carrying your own ball on the subway, or you'll get your ass kicked by a 9 year-old. No Doubt.